White Lace's for Bloody Faces
by lokguru90
Summary: After the murder of Andrew Nichols, Olivia is back on the trail from 'recuperating', she is slaying dragons, she's back to being a gladiator, but there's something off about her shiny armor. The world of Scandal is proper of Shonda Rhimes
1. Chapter 1

After the murder of Andrew, back on the trail after 'recuperating', Olivia is slaying dragons and burning enemies. She's back to being a gladiator but there's something off.

Chapter One

"Mellie, I really need you to focus on this, now I understand that Teddy being sick while he's with Fitz is worrying, but he clearly said he's been fine since this morning. It's 4pm and we have a live TV interview in less than 24hours. I can not stress how important this interview is, it would be disastrous if you made even one slip."Millie continued to ignore Olivia typing furiously on her cellphone. Feeling agitated and annoyed Olivia closed her eyes, but immediately snapped them open to glance around the room at the rest of the campaign workers, they seemed to exist in a different plane than she and her candidate. Her gladiators were clustered around a computer laughing at something, she couldn't even begin to imagine what it was seeing as she hadn't really interacted with them past work for several weeks. She felt isolated, she felt overwhelmed, she felt guilty but most of all she felt misunderstood.

The campaign aids and volunteers gave her a wide bert and avoided any and all interactions with her, she knew they called her cold and detached, she'd even heard the term frigid bounced around. She was neither of those things, she was a deep dark carven of emotions, potent and powerful emotions that so far have destroyed her and deprived her of the few joys she had in her life.

"Olivia!" She turned her head slowly to Mellie who was holding a script that held questions that were likely to be posed during the interview.

"Yes Mellie?" She asked slowly her gaze already shifting away from the petulant expression on Mellie's face knowing nothing good would come from it.

"How can I do well in this interview if you don't coach me on my performance. Olivia I know you're life is dark and depressing, but I need you to focus so I can win this thing." The taunts Mellie had been throwing at her since 'the incident' had been the cause of many count downs in Olivia's head. The numbers 1 through 10 had become her life line to her sanity; the result of over five hours on the internet, and the only doable action her Google searches gave her to control her anger. She didn't want to be that person again, at least that's what everyone kept telling her.

"I apologize Mellie . I heard everything you said, shall we continue? I don't think we should comment on Susan negatively, we have to remain above the fray. She's a woman you're a woman remember? We agreed on sisterhood." Olivia was tired of reciting the same sentences that just did not seem to take in Mellie's mind.

"Oh to hell with being nice, she's leading me by twelve points in todays polls. 12 Olivia, we cannot afford that margin to get bigger. Anyway you agreed to 'sisterhood' when you cut that stupid deal with Fitz' new mascot. What do I care? Just because we share body parts doesn't mean, I'm her cheerleader." The energy it would take to respond to those statements was taking too long to gather in her system so she sighed in relief when Marcus spoke up.

"Mrs Grant with all due respect, you need to stop talking about the political strategy that benefits you like it's a made up game. If you do remember correctly you did sign a contract with the Ross campaign agreeing to "clean references and interactions between the candidates, both on and off air." You can not be caught saying stuff like that." Olivia knew that Marcus had become the voice of reason that reached Mellie in ways she couldn't, she appreciated it but she wanted very little knowledge on how that came to be. It felt too close to home. Especially when after staring at each other for more than necessary Mellie threw her arms up in the air and declared she needed a break, while swiftly grabbing her phone and walking out.

She could feel everyone watching her, she knew they expected her to do or say something but the truth is she was glad Mellie left, she wanted to leave.

"Let's take 30 everyone." She grabbed her coat and her travel mug that instead of coffee held black herbal tea that was supposed to sooth her crossed nerves. They were in California for what BNN had lauded as America's most honest interaction with Mellie Grant. It wasn't catchy but it had certainly pulled interest, of course most of which were negative but interest non the less. Olivia glanced across the street at the few stores and apartments that populated this relatively quiet and serene town. Very different from he chaos of DC, it was disconcerting, Her skin felt like it was being peeled every time a person smiled and walked past her with a friendly hello. It all felt wrong out here, she had no drive to gladiate. She needed the chaos of DC to fuel her, being out here was reminding her of how tired she is, yet they were stuck here for three more days.

Karen was supposed to arrive by eight tonight and she would spend these next couple days after the interview bonding with her mother. A suggestion made by her therapist that both her parents were eager to comply with.

" _If you could go anywhere in the world where would you be?"_ The suddenness of the memory shook Olivia to her core, the innocence of that moment did not belong to her right now, yet she was powerless to stop it from continuing.

" _Anywhere? Does that mean anytime?" Olivia asked as she gazed across the short coffee table, covered in their breakfast. He was dressed for the day, dark blue coat neatly pressed, the only thing missing was his red tie. In comparison to Olivia's disheveled curly hair and white bath robe. He smiled at her and pressed his thumb deeper into the arc of her foot that he held captive._

 _"_ _I guess we can add anytime. I really want to know the answer to this." He squeezed her feet patiently as he waited for her to gather her thoughts._

 _"_ _I would go back to being nine years old, in the middle of the summer, sitting in a gazebo behind my grandfather's house with my mom. She used to have weekly gatherings with her friends every time we stayed in July. There was sweet tea, and little crumply biscuits. They was never any sugar in them because my mom's friend Celia had awful allergies to processed sugars. We would all be dressed up, my mom would make sure my pigtails were straight and fuss over me before her friends showed up, there were three of them. Celia, Rain and Zainab. They would fuss over me just as much as my mom if not more and we always had the best conversations. Never about school because that's my father, but they told me about their lives. Rain owned a jam store. She was my favorite."_

 _She had gone off so far in her memory she forgot about FItz's presence. He was looking at her with a small grin around and lifted brows._

 _"_ _Jam store, Rain? Huh you never know." He said and continued to run his hand up and down her feet._

 _"_ _Huh what? That's it. No other comments." He raised a brow at her and smiled with a shrug._

 _"_ _I just wanted to know. Thanks for sharing." He patted my foot one last time before standing and walking towards the bed where his tie lay._

The wind picking up drew her out of the memory, causing her to realize she had wondered farther down the street than she had intended. She looked at her watch to check how much time she had before she continued on down the street. Her heels clacked on the brick side walk as picked up her speed to get to the coffee shop she saw down the street. She needed the boost, she couldn't survive the campaign and Mellie for four hours without coffee. She was just within the reach of the coffee shop when another store caught her eye and she walked past the door that opened into the smell of coffee, towards the colorful sign hanging from an archway. She pulled the glass door open and the bell above it chimed softly causing her to hesitate even more at walking into the store. She continued into the store using her locks as a shield from the happy old lady sitting behind the counter when she greeted her.

"I'm just looking." She responding twirling and moving to the back of the store where hopefully the item she was looking for would be there. The little trinkets and old furniture gave way to shelves that held swatches of fabric.

This had become her thing in DC, the day she was forced to finally face everyone else after the incident, she had wandered down the streets of DC for hours after discussing the after effects of her actions. She had wandered from store to store until she came across an antic clothing store. It was quaint and looked like it needed a good refurbishing, but it felt comforting. Old and abandoned stuff turned into treasures, she admired the handwork that brought these things back to life.

This particular store was unlike any she had found in DC, it seemed to be mostly old jewelry and fabric.

She reached her arm out to touch the ivory lace shawl that hung from the side of the shelve, it looked old and fragile, yet it reminded her of youth and beauty.

 _"That one always seems to catch people's eye." Olivia pulled her hand back quickly and turned with a tight smile towards the gray haired woman who was shuffling closer to her._

 _"I'm sorry I was just looking." Olivia offered stepping back and clutching her mug in both her hands, she didn't want to touch anything._

 _"Now honey you look with your eyes not your hands. That seems to be something you have a problem with." Olivia raised her brows at the accusation in the smaller woman's voice._

 _"Oh don't let this old biddy body fool you, I know all about you. I recognized you the moment you stepped it. You the home wrecker that destroyed the big mans family. Now though you running his wife's campaign" By the end of the woman statement everything sounded like it was coming through a tunnel of water for Olivia._

 _She took a step back from the approaching woman who seemed to be set in her course towards her. "What aren't you going to saying anything for yourself? I told my grandson if I ever met either of you I wouldn't be afraid to speak my mind and now I get to call him and tell him I did tonight. He won't believe it." Olivia turned her gaze back towards the fabric avoiding the steady green calculating gaze, that was magnified behind thick square rims._

 _"How much is it?" Her voice sounded stranger to her ears as if it hadn't been used in ages. This was a side effect she had found, to the questioning, judgmental eyes that constantly followed her._

 _"This piece of lace is from an 19th century wedding veil. It's very precious." Old bent fingers speckled with age lines reached up and fingered the fine design._

 _"How much is it?" Olivia asked again this time louder and stronger as she straightened her back._

 _"It's not for sale, to you. I don't know what you would have need of it for since you no longer with the big man. The sign on the door says Needy Antics, now you won't be needing no ivory veil anytime soon."_

The urge came back to Olivia so quickly she had to shut her eye against the judgement of the old woman, she started to count down from ten in he head, fast numbers that matched the spiked beats of her heart. As the number tumbled out of her subconscious to her conscious mind, she found the rhythmic pattern of her breathing again, then her heart beat and finally her feet in reality with her eyes opening to greet not the face of the old lady.

That was two weeks ago, but her hand was still clutching the door handle of the bathroom in the campaign head quarters. Her fingers molding to the silver metal so tightly she couldn't feel them, she was quick to drop her hand as another knock sounded reminding her it was time to go back to her reality.

The hallucinations were realistic and an odd blend of her childhood memories of her mother and her broken self in the present.

"I'll be right out Quinn." She said brushing her fingers across the bridge of her nose.

"Okay pleas hurry, Mellie is getting nasty again, Marcus can't call her." She heard Quinns footsteps drift away and turned to give herself a once over. Her dark blue dress was still perfectly pressed, her jewelry was still in place and the blood stains she had seen in her reflection of the window out side the antique store had disappeared, and in its place a fresh coat of make up.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

 _"_ _Olivia! What are you doing? You are gonna get me in trouble with Abby, if anyone finds out about this or sees us." Fitz' whisper yell at the figure of Olivia could barely be heard in the wind as she climbed steadily up the branches of the large Red Oak tree that stood hidden on the white house grounds._

 _"_ _Shut up Fitz, you're making me lose my focus. I need to do this." Olivia shot back from her perch on a branch that looks about ready to snap._

 _"_ _You're gonna kill yourself, I take it back, you're strong enough to survive in the wilderness. Just come down, I don't want you getting hurt." He was beginning to plead because the joke was not funny any longer._

 _She had come back to the White House after a day at OPA and all signs pointed at it being a horrible day for her, Fitz wanting to cheer her up had proposed a brief game night._

 _Olivia loved to play little games on the trail, her competitive nature a perfect match for the requirements of her job, but it always was a bit much for Fitz sometimes. This was one of those times._

 _They had settled in the small sitting away from the bedroom, with a deck of cards and a bottle of wine with each glass and card game, Fitz had managed to tear her away from her melancholy musings. He had been a little too successful because when the conversation turned to survival tactics, Fitz had taunted Olivia about her book knowledge of the subject, while hinting at being better suited of the pair to survive in dire situations. Olivia immediately jumped at the chance at proving him wrong, she had left him sputtering on the couch, when she said he would have to take cold showers for a week if she proved him wrong._

 _It was below thirty degrees outside and Olivia was now pretty high up in an oak tree wearing a pair of his sweat pants rolled up on her hips and his navy sweat shirt._

 _She was going to fall out of the tree, one: she wasn't nearly tall enough and two: she wasn't balanced enough to stand on the branch to reach the next one._

 _"_ _Olivia, I promise I will never question your survival instincts again, so please come back down." His voice was calm and reassuring, it wasn't funny at all anymore._

 _He saw her gaze flash back down to him through the curtain of her curls, she was scared, her eyes spoke of her fear loud and clear and he felt his heartbeat pick up even more when she didn't stop reaching for the upper branch. She had let go of the branch her feet were balanced on and rose steadily extending her bent legs as she reached for the branch above her. Her hand on the larger trunk had nothing to grasp onto, he noticed belatedly as she shuffled on the branch, an increase in the wind speed could easily knock her out of the tree._

 _"_ _Olivia please, I am begging you. Come back down." He took several steps closer so he was standing underneath her and reached his arms out towards her, as if he could catch her._

 _"_ _Mr President." He heard a cautionary tone, from one of the two agents that were standing behind him at the base of the tree._

 _"_ _I got it Fitz I just have to jump a little, and I'll reach it." Her voice sound sure but he heard the crack at the end and couldn't stand not being able to help._

 _"_ _Olivia. Please, please, come back down. Don't you even think about jumping. Baby, I can't help you if you jump, there are too many branches, you are gonna get hurt badly._

 _"_ _I got it Fitz." That was all he heard as she took a deep breath, the rustle of the dead leaves when she launched her weight off the branch and her scream were the last thing he heard._

"Fitz? Mr President? Did you hear me?" He turned to Abby who looked as peeved as she sounded, likely due to his continued distracted state.

"Yes I did hear you, Karen landed safely, she's with Mellie at the hotel. Susan is speaking at a rally today in New Hampshire. Teddy finally went down for a nap after two hours of resistance. The Joint Chiefs are requesting a meeting to discuss something, I missed that last part." He raised his brow and smirked at her exasperated expression before moving away from his stance at the window and taking a seat at the resolution desk.

"Fitz, I appreciate that you heard my brief but I do need you to pay attention because that was what I said about ten minutes ago." His eyebrows rose and he purse his lips before nodding at her to continue, but she didn't, she put her binder down on the edge of his desk and sat primly in one of the chairs next to the desk.

"In the interest of full disclosure, I am going to need you to tell me why for the past two days you have been spacing out. Is this something I have to worry about? Did something happen are you being threatened." She lowered her voice and gazed up at the camera before turning to stare at Fitz' amused face.

"I'm fine Abby, I've just had a couple of sleepless nights that's all. Teddy's sleep schedule is out of whack and he won't cooperate with Martha. Now that I have given full disclosure please continue, I'm all eyes, ears and mind." He said taping his forehead, Abby huffed and stood again, resuming her stance with the black binder in her hand.

"Okay I'll go back a little bit so you can catch up. The Joint Chiefs are requesting a meeting to discuss the reports found by the CIA concerning the private meetings being held in Addis Ababa by the AU. I told Charlotte to schedule it in for later today, it seems the findings are particularly disturbing…" She went on to detail the actions and interactions of several other policies, but Fitz was stuck on the dream that had been plaguing his restless parenting nights. Teddy being in his bed and waking up at odd hours of the night to ask questions about his life was particularly difficult, but in the hours he did manage to get some sleep Olivia and her misadventures took over. Although he had never witnessed Olivia climbing a tree personally, she had told him on multiple occasions the story of her falling out of a tree when she was younger because she wanted to prove her mother wrong. It had resulted in her first and only broken bone, and she had never tried to climb a tree since then. The tree and the conversations were completely recognizable to him, he and Olivia had done most of those things at different point through out their relationship. It was the emotion that came along with the dream that he couldn't quite shake. The fear, it built slowly as he watched her ascend the tree, till the very last moment when she jumps and releases a scream that causes a huge lump to take up space in his chest, preventing him the full breath he needed. The feeling stuck with him after he opened his eyes and got ready for his day, he carried it with him every where he went now.

He couldn't understand why it plagued him and traveled with him like a ghost throughout his day. She had looked fine when he met with her, and Jake to discuss how they had taken care of the problem. She had looked like Olivia, she was professional, she flinched every time Andrew's name was mentioned, but other than that she remained stoic. She had thanked them and walked out of the meeting dismissing his request to speak with her privately. He was terrified, because the only time in the thirty minute briefing he saw her break character was at the very end when Jake reached over to hold her hand in a gesture of reassurance. Fitz was peeved and would have missed her reaction, but he looked up just in time to see her break her stare with Jake and meet his.

For the split second she held his stare, she looked weathered, like she was ready to fall out of her chair and crumple into the ground. It was just a second but he saw the absolute devastation in her eyes, that one second had caused him to break character at the end of the meeting and request a private meeting. Her denial, stung him but he let it roll off his back and moved on with his day. Two days later he began what was now his nightly ritual of dreaming of Olivia and that one second stare appeared in every single one of them.

"Ugh, I'm done! You have a meeting in an hour with the Speaker, just take that time to day dream because it seems you need it." He looked up from where he was twirling a pen and say that Abby was walking away from the Resolution desk with quick movements gathering up the papers strewn on the couch from the briefing.

"Abby, I'm sorry." He said standing from his chair, but she dismissed him with a scowl and walked out of the room with a soft click of the door closing.

He took a deep breath and looked around the Oval, an hour to himself was something he seldom got so he sat back in his chair and turned it to face the window.

It's spring time and flowers are blooming, nature's alive, but he felt like a boulder had taken up residence in his chest. Every time he tried to lift the weight, her name flittered across his mind, her blood splattered face flashed from his memory, and her soulful eyes called to him to ease her devastation. He didn't know how, at least not yet.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"I need you to make sure that the questions we clarified for the interview are the only questions being asked. Make sure Annita knows that one of the cuff comment is going to end the interview. I don't care if this live television I will pull my candidate out." Olivia didn't even bother to turn to see which unfortunate intern was cast with the job of addressing Annita Hinder. On the East coast Noah was her go to, on the west coast she'd usually pick someone less aggressive in their pursuit for the perfect story, but this time the choice was out of her hands. The people picked Annita, she had brought down power players in some of her interviews, Mellie would not be one of them if Olivia had any say in the matter. Huck, Quinn and Marcus were currently going through the final preparations for the interview, of course Olivia should be there but she couldn't bring herself to do so.

Karen unfortunately although not the spitting image of her mother had gathered some of her lesser qualities, Olivia understood she was just a child but after being subjected to two hours of mother daughter bonding over jibes at Olivia, she'd walked out the room and left the task to her gladiators.

Their jibes weren't overt but they were heavily implied, working Fitz into conversations at odd times, Karen saying she missed her dad and Teddy why complaining about the environment being boring. It all seemed innocent until Olivia caught a couple of nasty glances thrown her way, despite the cordial greeting Karen had given her after she arrived last night.

The door closing drew Olivia back to the present, she turned away from the small bay window and plopped unto the seat around the conference table. When she had walked into the room three hours ago, it had been chucked full of volunteers joking and working, she'd managed to clear the room within an hour.

"Olivia, I think their ready for her. Mellie is getting dressed, Annita requested a moment with you." Huck stood in the door way as he spoke and Olivia nodded while getting back to her feet.

"Did she get the message about the questions?" She asked as she stepped past the doorway and began to walk down the hallway. She stopped at the double doors that separated her from the room the interview was being held, inhaling a deep breath and tossing her shoulders back she turned the knob that allowed her into the chaos. Wires and lights and people were being adjusted, in the room that was paint light blue and had a lot of floral inspired furniture.

"Olivia, so good to see you." She snapped her gaze to Annita, who was being followed by a girl with an assortment of brushes.

"Good to see you too." She flashed a bright smile on her face, while shaking the older woman's hand. Annita looked to be in her late forties but was actually closer to her early sixty's. She was the epitome of a successful career in journalism that refused to let her go.

She'd covered almost every major news story the country had ever seen with exclusive interviews, or being first reporter to break news.

"I thought it'd be better to talk to you rather than that blubbering intern you sent my way. I couldn't believe my ears, I mean the child had five seconds and she couldn't even piece together a good sentence. I think she misspoke." Annita's eyebrows had disappeared into her hair line and her mouth had formed a sweet smile that was aimed at manipulating Olivia.

"Well Annita, if she told you that I would pull the interview if questions not agreed on were asked in the interview, I imagine she was right. I did say that." Olivia smiled sweetly as the older woman's dropped to a scowl.

"Now young lady I have had as successful a career as this one not by censoring my questions but by seeking out the truth. I will simply continue to do that." She patted Olivia's crossed arms and turned to walk away but Olivia stopped her.

"I am very aware of the successful career you've had, if I recall correctly I had a direct hand in saving it. Now I appreciate your sentimentality but for this interview I'm going to need you to toss it out the window. It goes my way with my candidate." Olivia's voice was slow and concise she had no care as to who heard what she had to say.

Annita looked both affronted and terrified at the same time, she brushed her grey hair off her shoulders before she spoke.

"Well, if you want to be that way, I guess it can work. Child don't be so sour, we have all been in failed relationships, lighten up. I'm sure the president is happy with his new plaything, you should be too." It all of Olivia's patience not to react to that comment, because she knew it was meant to hurt her. Annita was exactly the kind of person to make comments that hurt just to see your reaction and she was afraid that's what she'd do to Mellie.

"Well, now that we understand each other I will be on the side of the room watching the whole thing." Olivia said pointing in the direction of the cameras, before she could leave the doors opened and Mellie and Karen stepped through with a few secret service agents.

"Olivia, you finally decided to show yourself. Too late too I had some questions for you." It's hard to imagine any other persons voice annoying Olivia as much as Mellie's.

"Well, I'm here now." She turned to face Mellie and briefly skimmed her gaze across Karen who half rolled her eyes when their gazes met.

"Whatever, it's too late now. I'm ready, where do I sit." Millie asked.

"Before you do that let me introduce you all to Annita Hinder. Mrs Hinder kindly agree to go along with our guidelines for the interview. Isn't that right ma'am. Olivia put in the last word as a jibe to Annita who was very conscious of her wilting beauty.

"Oh I'm very happy to be doing this interview, when you win come the November, I'll be proud to say I interviewed the President of the United States." Annita and Mellie shared a quick cheek kiss, before they both took a second to gush over Karen and how she'd grown.

"Five minutes." A voice rang from in the corner.

"Oh lets take our seats."

From the moment the camera started rolling, the interview was flawless, it was as honest as Olivia and Mellie planned for it to be. Annita tried to derail it once or twice but a simple shift of Olivia's stance in the corner moved every thing right back on track.

The only upset of the interview was the constant buzzing of Olivia's phone, the number read private so it was either Jake or her father. She wanted nothing to do with either of them, at least not now, not in the state she was in. It was obviously safer for Jake having her away but he couldn't seem to get that, he had been calling her non stop for the past two days.

As soon as the camera's quit rolling, Olivia moved quickly to thank Annita and her staff before gliding out of the room with her gladiators in tow under the guise of more work. Millie could handle Annita, she didn't need a babysitter in that way.

As soon as she stepped onto the elevator that would take her up to their rooms her phone began to buzz again. Her gaze flashed to the screen fingers twitching to hit answer, however knowing the gaze of her gladiators were firmly placed on her she rolled her next and watched the counsel light up.

"We're going to need to start preparing for the next leg of the campaign, we need to address the issue of Mellie not being present in the Senate, it seems like a small one now but it'll be a an issue in three or four weeks. I don't want her questioned on her dedication to this country. We will be campaigning in DC for then next week, hitting the base to find donors, and delegates for this nomination. I'm going to need…" Before she could continue laying out instructions her phone started to vibrate again, she'f reached the end of her line at that point. Her finger hit her screen and the phone was to her ear in a second.

"What do you want? How many times do you have to call before you get the message that I don't want you or anything to do with you. Please STOP Calling!" Her voice was low but carried a deathly hollow tone that caused the gladiators to all step back as she tossed her phone on the rumpled bed she'd laid in last night.

"Okay. I'm sorry for the interruption. Now where were we?"

"You needed?" Marcus volunteered making sure his expression was artfully checked.

"Yes I need…" She went on her speech not even bothering to register the looks they exchanged with each other before they vacated her room. Her collapse as the door clicked was immediate, she had been doing that a lot when she walked into any room she had to herself. Collapsing with the hope of finding somewhere soft to land, this time was much like the last time, the soft shaggy carpet covering the hard wood floors met her knees first before her palms. She clutched the material between her fingers and squeezed with all her might as ragged breaths escaped her.

This was where she found herself, defeated, her body refused to act on the commands her mind was giving her to move and instead she stretched out on the floor, kicking her pumps off and rolling onto her side. The fetal position, yet no mother to cover her with warmth. She always felt so cold these days.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

 **"** **Ms Pope." There were two soft knocks on the door carried out intermittently, it couldn't be Huck because he was never that timid. Quinn was more apt to break in if Olivia ignored her for this long, and Marcus would simply get Huck or Quinn. She knew they weren't here. She had sent them on errands, she can't remember for what but they were important at the time.**

 **She had no idea how long they'd been gone either, how long had she been on the floor?**

 **"** **Ms Pope?" Again a female voice with two timid knocks. This was the tenth time this person had knocked she needed to answer, they usually left her alone after three or four tries.**

 **"** **One second." She finally manage to rasp out after clearing her dry throat twice.**

 **"** **Okay." She could almost feel the relief of the person behind the door.**

 **She stood brushing her shirt off and kicking her abandoned blue blazer under the bed. She swung the door open after she made sure she looked presentable, no red eyes like the last time.**

 **"** **Yes, I'm sorry what can I help you with?" She was very polite in asking but she saw the young woman flinch and clutch the flies she had in her pale hands closer to herself. She was definitely a college student, a blonde haired, blue eyed young college student looking to make a place for herself in politics. She had friends like that once.**

 **"** **Um, I'm sorry to disturb you, Mrs Grant said you were busy, but there is a problem in the lobby, it's under control and has been taken to on of the private offices. There's a lady that refuses to leave without seeing you. She disguised her self as one of the campaign volunteers and was caught sneaking up to your floor by on of the security guards." Olivia struggle to hear and understand the words out of the girls mouth, because every syllable was punctuated by an um or a stutter.**

 **"** **Okay, give me a moment." She shoved her foot back into her pumps, forfeiting putting on her blazer over her white blouse and grabbed her key before stepping into the hallway with the petrified girl.**

 **"** **So how long have you worked for the campaign?" Small talk always brought people out of their shells, Olivia wasn't particularly interested.**

 **"** **Um a month now, I like it." The statement hung in the air for the rest of the walk and the elevator ride.**

 **They got to a door that was marked Manager, after ducking into a section of the lobby marked off as employees only. However Olivia couldn't hear any commotion coming from behind the door they were stopped before.**

 **"** **Thank you, I'll take it from here." The girls shoulders sagged with relief before she turned to dash away, but Olivia's words slowed her to a stop.**

 **"** **You might want to not be as expressive with your fears in politics, you make easy prey." With the end of her statement Olivia pushed down on the handle that let her into the small office.**

 **"** **I'm sorry for the delay, I was busy, what seems to be the problem?" The man behind the desk stood upon Olivia's entry, but the other individual in the room stayed seated. From the back, her dark hair was streaked with strands of silver, that brushed against dark tan shoulders covered in freckles. There were thick straps to the top the woman was wearing that were very colorful in the drab brown office decor.**

 **"** **Ms Pope, it's simply a small altercation that took place. I'm afraid this lady managed to breach the volunteer protocol and was caught loitering in the halls. She revealed once she was caught she was looking for you. I'm sorry to have to drag you down her for something this small, but before I could stop the young woman she had gone to get you. The police will be here momentarily to deal with this."**

 **"** **That won't be necessary, I told you I know Olivia, she's like a daughter to me." The sound of the woman's voice immediately took Olivia to a place of warm comfort and summers under a gazebo with four beautiful women.**

 **"** **Aunty Rain?" Olivia voiced held all the shock in the world as the tall willowy woman stood and turned to face her god daughter.**

 **"** **Olivia." The way her aunt said her name made a shiver run up her spine. Rain's slanted light brown eyes collided with Olivia's soft doe ones and the questions in them railed against Olivia and almost broke the dam of emotions she held back. She quickly dropped their stare causing Rain to furrow her brow and purse her lips.**

 **"** **The police won't be necessary, thank you for alerting me. I'll take it from here." Olivia spoke quickly and walked to shake the older mans hand before turning to face the door and walking out.**

 **"** **I'm sorry I had to cause such a hocus in your facility, I'm actually not usually this crazy, I was just desperate I hope you understand." Rain's words to the man halted Olivia's walk toward the lobby, she had forgotten how honest and truthful her Aunty Rain was.**

 **"** **Olivia, wait for me." Rains voice carried down the short corridor as she watched Olivia walk away from her.**

 **She stopped and whirled around, "What are you doing here?" Her voice was sharp as she folded her arms and looked around to make sure no one was looking at them. It was a short hallway and they were its only occupants**

 **"** **What do you mean what am I doing here. I'm here to see you of course." Rain walked closer to the woman who had been once been the little girl she gave piggy backs too on their walks to her gardens.**

 **"** **How did you know where to find me?" Olivia asked running her palm up the arch of her neck where she cupped her throat before turning away from raised brow her aunt sent her.**

 **"** **No offense Olivia, but the whole country knows where to find you. Your brilliance as a political strategist made sure the sisterhood is something most American's are rallying around. I personally find it foolishly childish." Rain reached over and touched the middle of Olivia's back with her thin fingers, but as soon as contact was made Olivia stepped forward and opened the door that would allow them to walk into the lobby.**

 **"** **You call it childish I call it making a President." She picked up her previous pace, but she could hear the even pace of her aunt following her. She didn't pick up speed or slow down, she was steady like that, at least she had been when Olivia was a child.**

 **"** **I'm really busy with the campaign now and I'd be happy to spend time with you but there is no time so I sorry but we have to say good bye here." Olivia didn't know how to handle the sudden intrusion that was Rain. She pushed the elevator's button several times to call it, not bothering to turn and face one of the few people she had had to let go in her quest for power and success.**

 **"** **I know I know you better than this, so I'm not going to waste my time giving you five of them, I'm gonna stick to two. Two; You are acting a sore version of silly that I haven't seen since your mother got involved with your father and I will not hesitate to slap it out of you like I did out of her. One; you better check yourself quick, because giiirrrl you are walking a thin line between a smack in the face and a read that I was saving for a civil conversation." Rain did not even look winded after she just spewed her quick words at Olivia. The deep breath that Olivia took and the hitch that came with her exhale, however told her her target was hit pretty cleanly.**

 **"** **I'll be busy with the campaign you are welcome to hang around as long as you want." The elevator's door slid open along with Olivia's softened voice. They both stepped in and rode silently to their chosen floor with their gazes fixed on each other. When the doors to the elevator reached the campaign floors Olivia stepped out but stopped briefly at Rain's words before walking down the hall at a more moderate place.**

 **"** **I look forward to your challenge my Olive."**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Her dreams had become the worst parts of her days, the main reason she'd changed her poison from wine to coffee, she needed to be awake. Nightmares were too light a term for the visions she had as soon as her body slumped into unconsciousness. They were always deceptive, memories at first, happy ones, until they plunged into bloody scenes.

She'd developed a routine since the incident, after the high faded and the nightmares began. She could go two days with no sleep, an added day with a nap and lots of coffee. She could last a week if she drugged herself with the sleep pills Huck got for her, but they were addictive, they left her mind foggy and she needed to stay sharp.

So instead she drugged herself on Wednesday night, lived on coffee till Saturday and then drugged herself again.

Rain's intrusion on her life put a damper in Olivia's plans, she couldn't self medicate with her aunt laying in bed next to her. She was a really light sleeper. Olivia had tried to move several times, but Rain's eyes would pop open and turn to meet Olivia's and question her or instruct her.

"Why aren't you sleeping? Close your eyes." Even if Olivia could make it to the closet and swallow one white pill, she needed to be awake in about four hours. She would fall asleep if she shut her eyes but it wouldn't be dreamless. A tear trickle down the side of her eye and she blinked rapidly trying to slow the fog of sleep that had settled over her body.

She couldn't stop her eyes from shutting slowly to the dark shadows of her room. As soon as the room disappeared, another appeared in Olivia's mind.

 _A memory, a hotel suite, music's playing in the background, files and folders and campaign polls are scattered across the table. She's looking at her computer reading emails._

 _"_ _Olivia, I'm falling asleep here, you promised only ten more minutes. Come on." She raised her head from where it is bowed over the screen._

 _"_ _Fitz be patient, please this is important. It's for the fundraiser, we need this to go well. I need this to go well." She didn't even bother meeting his gaze, she went right back to reading. He was fed up, she knew, this was their first night alone together in a long time. They'd been off the road while Fitz and Mellie were getting the kids settled into school, Olivia didn't understand why they sent them to boarding school. Sure the campaign was tough, but they were old enough to handle it. The family break was also a reminder to Olivia not to get caught up in Fitz, which she already was. She needed a little distance and work was her biggest barrier. He couldn't cross it even if he wanted to._

 _She felt rather than heard him get up, his footsteps muffled on the carpet, it happened so quickly she had no time to react fast enough. Her laptop screen was yanked from her fingers, followed by a loud crash as it landed hard against the wall, before shattering on the floor._

 _She took two deep breaths before, yelling, "Mother Fucker!" She didn't remember reacting, but in an instant her fist connected to Fitz's eye, before she shoved his stunned body away from her, he toppled over the coffee table behind him and landed splayed with a loud crash on the floor._

 _"_ _Ow, shit ow, Olivia what the hell! Ow!" He kept muttering those words as he struggle to get back to his feet, he tried to raise his lowered body from knelling on the floor, but he collapsed again, "My back. Shit I think I broke something, it hurts." His words finally managed to change Olivia's stunned expression to one of worry, fear and dismay._

 _"_ _Oh no Fitz are you okay. I don't know why I did that." She rushed to him and helped him move into the smaller settee._

 _"_ _If you didn't want to see me you should have told me, I would have just stayed in my room." He grabbed her fingers that were pushing against his body trying to figure out where he hurt the most._

 _"_ _I'm fine, I think it's just the bruise on my back, Liv stop, I'm fine." He squeezed her fingers and moved her gaze to meet his, she had tears gathered in her eyes and it broke his heart._

 _"_ _I'm sorry I was so impatient, I should have waited, I only get so much time with you. I'm sorry."_

 _"_ _Why are you apologizing? I hurt you." She pulled her hand away from his and made to get up but he stopped her._

 _"_ _Because I hurt you first, I didn't push you physically, but I did emotionally. I'm sorry. I don't know how to fix this. Forgive me." She waited a beat before nodding and leaning in to kiss him, but before her lips could seal with his she was dropped into another scene. This time, a hallway, no door at the end. No red door, where did she go without the red door. Then she noticed the shadows on the wall, the writings on the wall, in a different language she couldn't read. She followed the arrows pointing to the ceiling. Above her were bodies, hanging all of them hanged, dripping blood, people she knew, people she loved, promised to protect, her gladiators, Amanda, James everyone she knew who'd died. She dropped her gaze when someone screamed in front of her._

 _"_ _Olivia you can't do this. I'm sorry please stop. I'm sorry. Just please stop. Let us live. Livvie please, okay fine you can kill me but not him please Olivia." It was Fitz, he had his arm wrapped around a blue bundle, it was squirming but no sound was coming out._

 _"_ _He's dead to me." She said her voice hollowed._

 _"_ _He's not to me, take my life for his. Olivia please." She raised the gun and pointed it right at bundle._

 _"_ _If you move I'll shoot."_

 _"_ _Please."_

 _"_ _I'll shoot." She presses the trigger and after a loud pop there's blood everywhere, Fitz is crying blood, he's bleeding from everywhere the blue blanket is stained with dried blood. Fitz lays it on the floor and reveals a mass of smashed flesh, it's Andrew's body, his face, bones showing through red bloody matter. She screams as Fitz picks up pieces of the flesh and hold it to her._

 _"_ _He's yours now, he's dead, he's yours. Take him."_

"Olivia! Wake up!" She being shaken, "Wake up baby girl, it's just a dream, it's only a dream. Come on now. There you are, there you are. I'm right here I won't let you go."

Her face is pressed against Aunt Rains chest, she can smell the coconut oil, and flowers, Rain is warm, but there's water on her shirt. Her shirt seems to be getting wetter on its own.

"Oh honey what did he do to you? What did that bastard do to you?" She's can't breath she's being squeezed so tight.

"I'm fine." She finally mutters pulling away, she's dizzy, her vision is blurred and she feels like she's about to throw up.

"You are not fine, you are still crying, come here." Rain makes to grab her arms but she scrambles backward and rolls off the bed into an ungraceful heap.

"Olivia don't hurt yourself." Liv struggles to get to her feet ignoring the anguished concern on Rains face.

She turns and walks into the bathroom noting the two hours of sleep she'd gotten. Her eyes are red and her face is wet. She was crying, she wiped her eyes and turned away from the mirror.

She took a quick shower to clear her head and got dressed for her day that started in an hours time.

"Olivia, are you okay?" That was the first question she got as she escaped the humid heat of the bathroom. It wasn't worried or loud, it was soft and Rain wasn't even looking at her. She was gazing out the window.

"I'm fine now, they happen occasionally, it's nothing."

"Olivia…" Rains was interrupted by Liv repeating the same statement again.

"If you are not fine please tell me. I can't help you if you don't tell me." She finally turned to look at Olivia who is packing her clothes into her suitcase.

"I'm fine we leave for the airport in two hours for DC. I know you said you'd come with us…"

"When you were fourteen, I came to visit you at that boarding school of yours. I hadn't seen you in a year. I'd tried for months to get your father to let me know where you were, but he refused. He wouldn't say a word. Then I saw a news paper talking about a young European prince's birthday dash, I look at the picture and there you are in the background. You are as pretty as I remember as beautiful as your mother at that age, but just like your mother your eyes are dead. They'd lost their sparkle, their shine and I could feel your pain in that picture. I got on a plane the next day to find you and had to lie to gain access to you. I finally got to be in the same room as you and you pretended you didn't know me. It broke my heart, I couldn't understand why you'd do such a thing, but I let you be. That's my biggest regret in life Olivia. I didn't fight for you the way I should have, the way I promised you I would. I'm not going to make that mistake twice, so if it means following you to DC and being a witness to you being "Fine", I will. That way you know I'm not letting you go. Not this time at least."

"I'll tell Huck you need a ticket, I need to make some calls." She zipped up her suitcase not bothering to look at Rain before leaving the room with her cellphone clutched in her palm.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

"Quinn I'll be back in five hours at most, tell her not to panic, I just need a minute." Her monotonous voice carried through the lobby of her building as she walked towards the elevator. Her day had been filled with dealing with multiple clients who thought their lives were about to end because of simple mistakes. She had no choice but to go back on her plan of spending the night at OPA when one in particular wouldn't shut up about the case. The lady kept rambling about how bad her actions were and giving Olivia pointers, essentially she was a horrible micromanager. Olivia couldn't work in that environment and had snapped pretty quickly causing Huck to suggest she go home. She resisted because going home was worst than staying in the office. She thought she hated her quiet apartment before, but with Rain's presence taking over the usually quiet space she dreaded every moment she spent in there.

The elevator dinged as it reached her floor and she briefly considered going back out to find a hotel.

She searched in her bag for her key but upon putting it in the lock she discovered the door was left unopened. She took a deep breath to quell her anxiety remember the conversation she had with Rain about it, her aunt simply hated the feeling multiple locks on the door gave her, so she delegated Olivia the only person to do the honors.

"I'm home." Olivia voiced into the apartment hoping no sound would come back to her, but within five seconds, Rain walked out of the kitchen dressed in a really long kimono, with her face slathered in clay.

"Olive, I thought you were staying at the office tonight. Oh well that doesn't matter, I made dinner a while ago for my new friends and you are welcome to the leftovers." Rain walked closer to Olivia and patted her on the cheek before moving to sit on the couch that was now covered in a floral prints. Another change Rain brought with her, she found the dark couch too depressing so she gave it some sunshine. Talk about a contradiction to her name, Olivia sighed looking around her apartment at all the flowers and incense, that now sought to purify the space.

"I'm gonna head to bed, good night." She slid her coat off and began to walk towards her bedroom but Rain stopped her.

"Oh Olive, we both know you won't be asleep, just go change and come watch this movie with me. Mike said it was the greatest piece of cinematography he had ever seen." Rain's light brown eyes, glittered in the soft lighting in humor as she watch Olivia wince at the mention of Mike.

"I'd rather not if Mike recommended it." She dropped her coat on the smaller chair and kicked her pumps off before slumping onto the couch next to Rain.

"Okay fine we can watch something else." Rain smiled and pointed the remote at the TV turning it on.

The truth was that, although Olivia hated the changes Rain brought into her life in just two weeks, she was deeply grateful for the break they afforded her. She never had the same routine on any day. Rain could decide to stop by her office and take her out to lunch, she even decided to gladiate after discovering the nature of the title. She was very good at it. She insisted Olivia accompanied her on runs to the grocery store deeming it appropriately ordinary for her. Of course since Olivia spent most of her day working these activates happened at night. The nightmares Olivia dreaded never really came when she fell asleep on the couch after watching a really stupid movie recommended by Mike. The drifted in but they drifted out when Rain sang softly to her unconscious form.

Of course they had their fights, Rain was an incredibly social person and she made friends within a day of being in DC. She hosted social gatherings for these random strangers she met everyday in Olivia's apartment. Olivia had tried to put an end to it by threatening to evict Rain but when Rain's soft brown eyes turned to stone she silently walked out the room. Nothing can stop Rain.

They were half way through the movie when both of Olivia's phones started ringing. She passed the bowl of popcorn to Rain on the opposite end of the couch and reached her hand out to grab her phones. Both numbers were private, leading Olivia's heart rate to speed up, "I need to take this." She said standing up and walking towards her bed room. "I'll pause it and get more pop corn." Rain stood as well understanding the nature of Olivia's work.

"Hello." Her voice was shaky, she felt nervous, she hadn't felt that way in a long time.

"Olivia, it's Abby." She blew out a huge sigh and walked away from Rains prying eyes peeking through the doorway.

"Abby, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Well not nothing. We need you at the White House, a car is being sent as I speak ETA ten minutes, please be ready this is urgent." Abby sounded like a programed computer which was never a good thing. She took a deep breath as her mind filled with endless possibilities all of them disasters involving Fitz.

"Okay I'll be ready."

She walked back to the couch and slipped on her shoes, before buttoning up her blazer over her silk top.

"I have to leave, there's a job. It's important. Urgent." Olivia avoided meeting Rain's eyes as she checked her bag to make sure she had everything she needed. But to her own ears she sounded out of breath, which was weird because she was moving as slowly as possible.

"Whitehouse. I get it. I'll save the movie for a different time." Rain sat the steaming bowl of pop corn on the table and walked towards Olivia, she straitened the collar of her coat and patted her shoulders.

"Okay, that should work. I might be back later, I don't know what's going on…" She wanted to finish her sentence but Rain smiled and waved her off.

"Just come back, you know I won't miss you. I might paint the walls in your bedroom though. I saw some really good swatches in the store." Olivia's eyed her warily, "Why? I like my room the way it is." She started to complain but stopped when Rain started to giggle. "Just stay out of trouble old lady." Her phone buzzed in her bag and a text had come in saying the car had arrived. She waved at Rain as she walked out the apartment, she took a deep breath out in the elevator and Olivia Pope took the place of Olive. She straightened her back and steeled her face.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

She expected to be ushered in the the Oval or a bunker, but when she was marched into the situation room, her level of anxiety both spiked and reduced at the same time. The possibility of something being wrong with Fitz dropped, but the possibility of something being wrong with the country rose. She began to wonder what she had to offer, since this was clearly not her level of expertise.

She took a deep breath before the door was opened by a marine stationed outside. The room was dimly lit to allow the video on the screen to be shown clearly. Olivia quickly glanced around the room, she expected more people to be there but in fact only five other people were in the room. The National Security Advisor, the Homeland Security Advisor, a short balding black man slumped in his seat, Abby and Fitz. She briefly met Fitz's stare, he offered a grim smile before turning back to the screen causing her gaze returned to there as well.

She realized pretty quickly that it was a video about ten seconds long playing on repeat, a group of people in what appeared to be a jungle, some of them chained to trees, they looked like they were snarling. The people who were unchained begging to be set free, but the focus of the video a man in the fore ground holding a syringe and injecting it into the ear of a little boy. The odd part of the entire video was it wasn't a group of people of one particular ethnicity, the young boy was a white, the women in the background looked Asian, and Indian and some men chained to the tree were black. The focus of the video however was a black man speaking in some native language.

The video stopped and the lights were turned on, Olivia walked closer to were Abby was sitting next to Fitz not understanding what was happening.

"This video was taken two hours ago by a young American volunteer in the Democratic Republic of Congo. It was sent to his girl friend via snap chat but our cyber intelligence team managed to divert it before she could see it. Now we have been looking into this for months, rumors heard by doctors in the country of the work of this man. We kept track of it and this is so far the only concrete evidence we have of this. The have been similar cases, in surrounding nations, people exhibiting symptoms much like the one of the people chained in the back ground. Mr President, it appeared in the beginning that this particular man had in his possession a deadly concoction that he is using as a chemical weapon against foreigners in his country. However following a trend of what appeared to be a spike rabies cases in neighboring countries we thought it would be best to pay attention. We discovered sir that not only were they not rabies cases but this operation is being run in five other countries across the globe. One of them being us Mr President."

Olivia watched as Fitz took a deep breath and looked down at the evidence in front of him.

"You have been following this for two years and I'm just finding out about it now." The Homeland Security Advisor nodded, "Sir we thought it'd be best to keep it under wraps but there are new developments on the front. It appears that this concoction is not only deadly but it's also viral. Our men happen to find the base of the U.S. operations but upon coming within a mile of the site they were all struck down with similar symptoms. We have barricaded the site to keep the perpetrators in, but areal heat based shots reveal that their numbers are growing drastically and we have no idea how. There is seemingly no way into that site."

"Do we have any of our allies in the know of this situation? Is there someone who has access to this information?" Fitz asked running his finger through his hair, the HSA nodded and turned her dark gaze on Olivia, "Actually, sir, we do." Fitz looked at Olivia astonished yet confused, as did Abby before turning back to the HSA, "Olivia?" He asked with his brows raised.

"Not exactly sir, we happen to spot one of our tracking signals placed on someone who was in our data base on the site. It was register to Maya Pope, sir, and we thought it was odd that Olivia's mother would be on said, site. Do you happen to know anything about it Ms Pope?"

Olivia looked around the room in astonishment, "I don't." She said simply.

"Okay we thought so but we were just cross checking, there is however the potential that Ms Pope can get us more information on these operations. Sir it seems that the Russian, it seems juvenile to use this word but, it seems the Russian Mafia know more about this situation and have been monitoring it for longer. When we first contacted them they were eager to negotiate with us some information trading agreement but those channels closed once their government got in the know. I have to mention sir that Ukraine is another site for these operations. We happen to know from Ms Pope's kidnapping that she has some friends in that part of the world that may be useful in this venture."

Olivia shared a look with Abby and started to shake her head but stopped when she felt Abby nudge her foot.

"I'm not even sure how I'd go about doing that. Abby contacted them the last time. I think she'd be a better channel to move this forward." She started to say but she was cut off by Fitz, "We tried, well they tried, but Abby is firmly know to be part of the Whitehouse now, she was cut off as well. I'm guessing because I just found out about this two hours ago. This is about more than just this threat" He pushed away from the table and stood and started pacing the room.

"Everyone here is aware I presume about what is going to happen in the next couple of months. There is a threat to the security of the population of this planet, there are only fifteen people at most in the know about it who are in the power to prevent it. I have six more months left in my term. No new president is going to be able to change much about the situation because they haven't had eight years of experience and relationships. You brought me here tonight to tell me it's time to Blanket the world." He chuckled and looked at everyone else in the room pointedly. "I'm not done being president for at least another two years. Is it safe to assume that everything has been put in place with Congress and the Judiciary?"

""Yes Mr President." The two Advisors responded. He swallowed and nodded, "Okay so what are our plans, I just found out but you have been planning this for a while." He sounded like normal Fitz but Olivia could help but tune out, she noticed his temple start to tick as he sat back in his seat to listen to the plan.

Almost a eight months ago she was listening to him lay out his plans for after his presidency, to be a better father to Teddy and Karen. Vermont, California, DC, the places he wanted to be so he could still have an impact but be a father.

 _"_ _Liv, it's gonna be so good, we can spend time together and there won't be a press corp so you won't have to leave in the morning." She giggled at his drunken rambling, she herself was half way to being totally non functional, but they'd both had a rough day at work. He didn't have any early meetings the next day so they had lit a fire and camped out by it, naked and indulging in several rounds of drunken sex._

 _"_ _We can have our babies Livvy, we can finally have our two babies", she laughed as he tackled her sitting form onto the pile of pillows behind her and started tickling her stomach._

 _"_ _It can be right there." She didn't want to stop laughing but sobered quickly when he laid his head on her flat stomach and kissed her under her rib cage. "We can make our family away from all this mess. We can be normal. Well as normal as possible." She ran her fingers through is ruffled curls before speaking to quell the anxiety that came with his words. "I think that can work." She managed to get out into the nearly silent world. He hummed a sound before pressing a kiss to her belly button._ His greatest wish, to live his life, everything postponed, and she could see it in the dejected slump of his shoulders.

"Ms Pope?" She finally came to when she heard her name being called.

"I'm sorry."

"Ms Pope, we know you have the means to make connections with these people, so we won't boggle you with details we will however assist you in whatever way, and we insist you make all connections through our front." Olivia nodded distractedly as she thought about how Stephen would receive her, her gaze landed on the one man who hadn't spoken. He was still slumped in his seat, his beady eyes drifting quickly across the room never landing on anyone. He gut immediately questioned his presence, he didn't speak and he didn't look like he knew what was going on. Two deadly combinations in her book.

"Okay, I believe that's all we can do for now, Ms Pope we ask that you do this as early as possible, we will have a room set up for your use in the Pentagon." Fitz stood and they all did along with him, he nodded at each of them individually and smiled at Olivia, "Can you stay for a while. I know it's late." She nodded, taken aback by his smile, but she steeled the butterflies that fluttered up in her stomach.

"Ladies, gentlemen, thank you, we will set a date for a later meeting. Have a good night." Fitz filed out the room with Abby and Olivia trailing behind him along with his secret service agents.

"We can't talk about that outside here right?" Abby asked looking to Fitz for guidance, she nodded his head and kept walking.

"Okay, can we talk about the other piece that has to do with you sir." Fitz chuckled and shook his head again.  
"Okay, I'm going home. I might as well spend as much time out side of this place before I can't anymore." Olivia wish she would stay and be a buffer between her and Fitz but she was a big girl and she could handle it. Right?


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

"We're only going to be in here a second. I need some files, my schedule got messed up." She couldn't help but notice the slump in his voice. He was frustrated even though he was trying to sound up beat.

"Where are we going? It's really late Fitz and I don't want people to get…" She was trying really hard to ignore the few staff members who were loitering around the West Wing.

"I promise this will only take ten minutes, it's really important and I can't not show it to you." He nodded at the marine standing guard in front of the Oval, she decided to wait outside for him but pulled her through the doorway by the lapels of her coat.

"Fitz!" She chastised when he wouldn't let go, he smiled and let go when she tossed a withering look in the mix.

"I'm sorry, I'll grab my files." She watched as he prattled around his desk picking up what seemed like random sheets of papers, she couldn't help but admire his physique. She let her gaze roam his form until he turned almost catching her in the act.

"Okay. Lets go." He marched towards the door she knew led towards the Residence, he held it open for her and motioned with his hand for her to walk through it.

"Fitz…" She said hesitating, he stopped her by flashing one of his disarming signature Grant smiles that always caused her to inhale deeply to quell the feelings it dug up.

"10 minutes." He said softly. She raised her brow and nodded while folding her arms, "10 minutes."

The walk to the Residence was quiet, both of them trying not to reminisce. As Fitz opened yet another door for Olivia, she couldn't help but blush when her eyes met his. He let out a chuckle when he realized how nervous she must be. It wouldn't be Fitz if he didn't poke her about it too.

"Do you want to take your coat off? You seem a bit flushed." His voice cracked with amusement, but Olivia forced back the smile that almost came into being while glancing at her watch.

"You have 8 minutes and counting." He sobered quickly and dropped his files on a table in the residence living room.

"It's right down here, but you have to be really quiet." He led her down a hallway she had only been through a handful of times, it had been dubbed the Grant kid Way according to Fitz. Teddy spent most of his time in the residence tearing up and down it.

They stopped in front of a door she knew belonged to the youngest Grant child. He had excitedly invited her into his room when he caught her trying to escape one morning. It was an hour of her life she would forever cherish.

"He's asleep right now, but I think the risk of waking him up is worth it. He kept telling me about a magical friend he met one morning who taught him a really cool trick. He wouldn't tell me who it was so I assumed imaginary, but then I walked in on him drawing pop corn bubbles as he liked to call them. I knew right away you were responsible for his new obsession. It's been months and he still does it, I noticed this a few weeks ago. I think of it as a gift into his mind." Fitz put his finger, to his lips to signal silence, Olivia was extremely uncomfortable and confused. She had no idea why he wanted her to see something pertaining to

The room was almost spotless except for the small bricks littering the floor, but he navigated the space with ease and Olivia tried to follow his lead but she couldn't help but freeze every time Teddy breath heavier or shifted around in his covers.

"Fitz." Liv whisper yelled when she saw Teddy turn over onto his back and start rubbing his eyes. He sighed and walked back over to Teddy's bed the entire time Olivia remained frozen.

"Papa?" Teddy's little voice cracked out. "Hey bud, I came to say good night, did you have a good day?" Teddy nodded his head and brushed his temple with his fingers before sticking two of his finger in his mouth. His eyelids began to droop again and Fitz rubbed his chest until he drifted off into unconsciousness.

It took Fitz a while to detach from his position next to Teddy without a whimper but he finally did and walked softly over to Olivia and pushed her towards their goal.

She would have missed it had she not been looking, a vertical section of the wall next to Teddy's book shelf was covered in little multicolored drawings of popcorn faces. Right in the middle of all of them was a crumpled piece of paper with Liv's original drawing of her excited popcorn face.

"He calls it his Wivvy wall. He can't reach all the way up yet but every time he stays here and he comes back from school, he draws on the wall an emotional pop corn of his day, he does multiple somedays. There used to be a lot more. He threw a huge fit one day after Martha had them clean up the older ones. I had to help him redraw most of these ones to get him to calm down."

Fitz continued to talk allowing Olivia's tensed stance to relax as his warm breath drifted from behind caressing her cheek.

She couldn't believe what she was looking at, she felt emotions bubbling up inside her chest fighting for their presence to be acknowledged. Fitz body behind her gave them strength, his warmth, his calm soothing voice, she wanted for him to wrap her in his arms and just give her one feeling, his love. Her eyes took in every single one of Teddy's popcorn emotions and she couldn't help but notice the disproportionate number of them that resembled her emotions most days. The sadness, the fear, the anger.

"He's not happy." She said finally looking up at Fitz, she caught the flash of potent emotion that drifted through his eyes.

"No he's not." The continued to look at the wall in silence until Fitz moved his arm around her waist. He pulled her into his warmth, his palm splayed across her stomach. She held her breath waiting to see what he would do but he just held her one handed, pressing her to him. She relaxed and continue to follow Teddy's emotions.

"He was happy there." She pointed at the smiley popcorn over the course of three consecutive days.

"I had a weekend half off. We spent most of it in our pjs building forts around the residence and eating junk. He laughed so much, didn't once complain about anything we just had fun."

Olivia's hand that had reached out to touch the small drawing came back and rested on the back of his hand. She ran her fingers over his before settling them in the space between his.

"I never get to see him, I get to wake him up at night and ask him how his day was and he drops right back to sleep. I was looking forward to more days to be with him, not just around him." Fitz rested his other hand on the happy drawings.

"I'm…" Olivia didn't get to finish her apology because he brought his other hand down to wrap around her before he buried his face in the side of her neck, drawing in big heavy breaths. Her heart clenched tightly knowing he was dealing with so many emotions and she had no real way of helping. She just let him hold her enjoying the comfort they gave each other, her eyes closed as he held her and she lifted her other hand to his head where she ran her fingers slowly through his hair. The stayed like that for what seemed like eternity, with Teddy's light snores as a back drop to their cocoon of comfort.

Fitz finally lifted his head and pressed three soft kisses to the side of her head.

"I can make him happy. I just need the time. I just want him to be happy" He whispered the words into the wisps of her curls and she knew it was not just meant for Teddy.  
"I…" She started to stutter, her mind screaming for her to escape but her heart was loaded down with love so potent she couldn't bring herself to say the words to break their moment.

"I just need time out of this house." His voice broke and Olivia clenched her fingers in his hair to bring his head closer to hers.  
"You can make him happy. You can be happy, he can be happy, just don't give up on him." She whispered her lips brushing his chin as she spoke. With one final kiss to his chin she let go of his hair and removed her fingers from in his.

"I believe our ten minutes are up." She pretended to brush lint off her shirt before looking up to find his amused gaze on her.

"I'll walk you out." He smiled his panty dropper smile causing Olivia to roll her eyes.

The both walked out of Teddy's room feeling lighter, it was not an impasse so much as it was a slither of light. A slighter of light into Olivia's darkness and a slighter of light into Fitz's troubles.

"I'll see you in two days at the convention meeting." Fitz said before Olivia could completely walk away. She swallowed thickly having completely lost track of what her real life looked like after twenty minutes with Fitz.

"Bring your toughest questions, don't be afraid to hit hard." She saucily replied walking away with an extra pep in her step, towards the waiting elevator. She watched him leaning against the doorway, his curls in a disarray on one side of his head because of her roaming fingers. The small smile playing on his lips holding as he said his final words to her. "I'm bringing it all Olivia Pope." She flashed him a sassy smile with a raised brow as the doors slid shut. Olivia held on to the lingering strands of happiness from their moment, the comfort of being in his presence, his love, everything stayed with her on the elevator and she basked in it, until the doors we opened and reality caught up with her.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

 **"** **Olive! Olive!..Olivia!" The sound of footsteps approaching caused Olivia to snuggle deeper into her covers.**

"Olivia!" Rain's voice was like cheese on a grater, a combination of extremely late nights at OPA and the deep fog created by her sleep medication impeded her ability to respond at a volume that would stop the older woman screams.

"My goodness Olivia, it's nine am, I told you we were going to the farmers market today, all the good picks will be gone by the time we get there. Jam doesn't make itself. Come on! You promised." Her groan was caught in her throat as the down quilt was ripped off her body, leaving her exposed to the chill coming from the air conditioning vent.

Her eyes slowly adjusted to the dim lighting of the room only to snap shut when Rain shoved aside the curtains in her busy movement.

"Aunt Rain…no..stop…I'm…ugh, what the hell. I'm tired." Olivia's words were muffled by the pillow she managed to pull over her head to ward of the brightness.

 **Smack**

"Oh my goodness! Aunt Rain." She scrambled to sit up pushing the pillow onto the floor,

"What the hell?!" Her aunt was dressed in a thin cotton floral dress that looked much like curtains dropped over the floor.

"Watch it Olive. Now get dressed, we need to leave now." And just like that aunts get streaked braids left the room.

This had been Olivia's life since the night Rain found her popping pills six days ago. Non stop action, as long as she was in the apartment, that combined with the strain from carrying four cases at OPA, as well as the whole chemical weapons fiasco Olivia was about to keel over from tiredness. She thought she was free last night when she came home to find Rain in a wine induced coma, the lack of productive activities allowing her to slip some of her pills to insure a terror free night of sleep. Low and behold at nine in the morning Rain was back and Olivia was running on four hours of sleep.

"Olivia, get out of that bed, don't even think of laying back down." Her groan became grumbles as she walked towards her closet to pick out a suitable attire for the errands. Her reflection in the mirror causing her to startle. Her hair was in its full glory, a wild mane, matted from falling asleep with it damp from her shower, her eyes looked dim with dark shadows beneath them, her cheek bones were definitely more prominent, but what surprised her the most was the way her shirt and shorts looked baggy over her limbs.

"Olivia!" Rains voices sounded along with cupboards shutting loudly.

"I'm coming!" She pulled out soft linen black linen pants, and grey T shirt that she knew would leave her shoulders to the glare of the sun.

She was in and out of the bathroom in five minutes after washing her face and securing her hair in a messy bun on her head

One last glance in the mirror forced her readjust her hair and add a baseball cap and sunglasses to her ensemble.

"I'm ready." She said sulkily when she walked into the living room, Rain was standing at the door with a shopping bag cart she didn't know she owned. Then again, she was pretty sure it wasn't her purchase with the obsessively floral nature of the fabric.

"You look like someone who doesn't want to be spotted." She said with a frown.

"That's because I don't want to be spotted." She gestured to the door, to avoid Rains gaze after she realized the reason for Olivia's choice of outfit.

"I forget that happened, you are always so focused on your work, you never go anywhere else." Olivia knew answering that question would open up a can of worms, she had gave a non committal "I have no time" the first time Rain suggested a serious outing, and that resulted in the last six days.

"We'll make time don't worry." She would never trust those words ever if they came out of Rain's mouth.

"Let's just go." Rain raised a brow at her before giving her entire frame an up and down appraisal.

"If you're gonna have an attitude I suggest you change it."

"I won't, I'm ready, let's go." She sighed and gestured agin for the door to be opened.

Rain shook her head and opened the door allowing them to get on with their plans.

"Let's go find some good fruit for our good jam. Do you remember how you called it when you were younger."

"Olive Rain Jam," Olivia said quietly while they stood waiting for the elevator.

"Yeah, Olive's Rain Jam, with your cute lisps." Olivia didn't even bother to respond while dropping her sunglasses over her eyes in preparation for the DC sun in the summer.

Their shopping lasted for three hours, from the farmer's market they went back to the apartment, but just to leave the fruits properly refrigerated for when they got back. Then they left and went to a quaint furniture store to look for new bedding for Liv's guest room. In the end they didn't find any but they did find lamps to replace, the ones in Olivia's bedroom.

They ended the day getting ice cream and by the time they got back to the apartment, Olivia didn't even realize she had left her phone uncharged on her dresser.

"Liv, where have you been." Hucks voice carried through the quiet apartment startling Liv out of her tired countenance, and earning a short scream from Rain before she realized who it was.

"Huck, I was out with Aunt Rain." She said after calming her heart, she walked briskly into the kitchen hoping to buy sometime to collect herself more.

"You didn't answer your phone, I called. I was worried." His voice sounded tenser than usual so Liv walked out of the kitchen. Her aunt was seated on the futon, glaring straight at Huck without blinking.

Olivia barked a short laugh, before glancing back at a surprised Huck.

"What'd I miss?"

His gaze bounced off Rain briefly indicating to Liv that this wasn't about one of her usual cases.

"Do I need to come in?" She asked knowing the answer would be yes.

"I have to show you something on the server."

"Okay," She broke her gaze from his and turned to her aunt, before she could even begin to explain herself Rain cut her off.

"Work calls, so go, we can make Olive's Rain Jam later."

"I'll see you later." She briefly glanced at her outfit but after considering the time of the day, she knew it didn't matter.

They took Huck's car just because Olivia had left the apartment as she was.

OPA was quiet, yet its state seemed to leave Olivia calmer than she left it the night before, her anxiety had been on the brink for most of the previous day. She could sense where the entire fiasco with the White house was going, she knew it in her gut, but she had refused to believe it. It didn't help that Huck was the only other member of OPA who knew the happenings of the situation. He had took one glance at the briefing the CIA sent over and looked at Liv with a steady gaze before turning to his computer.

"I channeled most of my searches through a crashed server, it was previously used by the military and I think they think it's completely useless but it's not. Rowan has been very careful about his association with this, but I know his mark. I know his pattern, he's set up four locations, and unfortunately the location the CIA is focused on is not one of them, not that it isn't important but it's not key. I've locked down two out of four locations, the remaining two are definitely not on any grid above or below ground…" As Huck continued to lay out the the remaining details of the case, Olivia slid down to the floor, her back against his desk, her mind was racing. She knew without a doubt that the elections was a means to an end. Rowan was just being formal, her candidate was his mark, into the real system. He was attacking from all sides. She couldn't help but ask even though she knew she would never get a straight answer from Huck.

"How do you know all this after a few days? The CIA has been chasing this for years." He stopped typing on his key board and glanced down at Olivia.

"I don't presume to have the world under my control. I just look deeper, you used to do the same thing." His words were knives, even though she knew he didn't mean it that way, they were knives. She didn't have the emotional shield to respond and defend herself so she pulled herself off the floor, straightening her cap before thanking him and walking back out the doors. She made a beeline for her office, stopping briefly to glance at the case laid out on the glass window. An old money case, inheritance problems after rewritten wills.

In her office she tore open the bottom drawer of her desk where buried beneath her notebooks was a black cellphone. It had arrived two days ago, the CIA had cracked down on communications and Olivia had been given her own cellphone to report her findings on the case. What she found out was not what she was sent to do. She had been sent to call Stephen and beg his help in being a communications channel. She had gone and dug into their case, tearing it apart and she was about to raise doubt and flags. She could possibly be taken off the case, but with Huck's words ringing in her ears she pushed the number one. She had no idea who was on the other line.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

She cancelled the call.

It was a quick decision, one she wouldn't have made had her gut not flared up on the second ring.

The information Huck gave her was true, and yes he was Huck but it was too easy. Why did she have to be the one to figure it out and report it? It made no sense, Homeland and the CIA had been looking into this for years, and Huck pulled all this off in a few days. Not possible. No matter how good Huck is, this was too soon.

She picked up her phone and dialed a number she'd come to memorize over the years even though she never really had a chance to used it until a few months ago. She promised herself she would not call it again after what happened the last time. The rejection, but this was necessary. She had walked blind into too many situations, had been controlled and corralled into accepting conditions placed before her. This time she would be different. Abby had called her the last time for help, she had been asked to be a part of this, she just needed clarification. She needed to talk to him.

"Hello Charlotte, this is Olivia Pope, can you put me through to the President?" He voice was steady, she braced for rejection and glanced at the clock for clarification. It's a Sunday at seven pm, he's sitting in the Oval going over briefs before calling to talk to Teddy.

She repeated that fact over and over in her head as she listened to the hold tune.

The fear hadn't gone away since that first phone call, no matter how many times she had waltz into the Oval since then. His rejection hurt.

"Hello, Ms Pope, are you still there?" She took a deeper breath and held it waiting for the ball to drop.

"Yes Charlotte I'm here." Her voice wavered, she released the breath she held.

"Okay, he's not in the oval right now, but I'll transfer you one of his secrete service agents, it'll only be a minute." Charlottes soft voice floated over the receiver and Olivia nodded her head before catching herself.

"Of course take your time." The hold tune sounded again. The clock ticked, the air travelled through the cooling vents, sending a draft from behind her that teased her hair, she waited for him.

There was a click and all of a sudden his voice was there with her, in her empty office.

"Hello, Olivia." He sounded like he was winded, distracted. She hesitated before answering and like a reflex her greeting came out, high pitched and choked.

"Hi."

She could here him take a breath, but he didn't respond.

"I can assume this isn't a work related call then. Give me a minute." She could here him moving, away from the background noise and the sound of distinct laughter. She felt a pang to her heart, but brushed it away.

"Okay, we're clear." Even though she knew he was giving her the go ahead to speak and she wouldn't be judged she started to second guess.

"You know what. It sounds like you are busy, um, for…" He cut her off.

"Olivia. I'm listening."

His three words immediately took her back to their conversation in the Oval weeks before. She couldn't help but smile.

"What were you doing?" She was curious he had broken routine, he was always in the Oval on Sundays at seven.

"I was playing wii sports with Karen and Teddy before he went to bed. Their kicking my butt, they have no respect for my age or position." He was smiling, shaking his head by the sounds coming from his end.

"Well, who better to school you than your children." She chuckled as the sounds of defensive yells came from the other side of the phone, then Fitz was yelling at Karen to stop cheating. It took a solid minute before he was back on the phone laughing.

After he calmed down she listened to his breathing, she couldn't help but to crave having his chest under her ear, his heartbeat beating steadily.

"What did you do today Olivia?" His question was sudden and snatched her out of her trance. She couldn't help but chuckle at her day. It's hard to imagine that she had dealt with her tsunami of an aunt and the bombshell that Huck had loaded her down with all in the space of ten hours. The exhaustion came flushing back to her system and she couldn't help it when it flooded her voice as she spoke to Fitz.

"I spent the day at the farmer market and furniture shopping and got called into the office. Now I'm sitting here contemplating laying on this couch for the night and crashing cause Aunt Rain sure as hell won't let me sleep tonight." She took a breath.

"Aunt Rain? As in Jam aunt Rain?" She wasn't surprised he remembered, never mind the fact that she had shared that side of herself with him almost nine years ago.

"Yep, the one and the same." She smiled and sighed thinking of her crazy aunt.

"That's so strange, I thought you hadn't seen her since you were fifteen."

"Fourteen, and I was surprised trust me." She broke off the rest of her statement.

"Hmm, that's so random."

"Mmmmm, Yes I'm officially no longer in charge of my free time."

"Why is that?" Fitz sounded like he was bracing for something bad, but she didn't care he asked and she was going to answer.

"She's so so much to handle. I mean she just comes in and changes everything, says whatever she likes, I don't care that it's true. But why does she have to control so much. Fitz she calls me and tells me what to eat everyday. She started making me lunch this week and bringing it to me. I'm pretty sure if I'm here for another hour she'll show up and force feed me what ever vegetarian meal she's cooked up. I'm so tired, she wakes me up so freaking early no matter how late I work. She never ever lets me stay in bed. I really just want a good glass of wine and pop corn, but no she says alcohol isn't good for me. I know that I've been living by myself for freaking years and she's just ugh Fitz, I'm going crazy I just need to…I don't know vent. SHE COMES TO OPA. She comes to OPA and orders people around on MY cases. I ugh Fitz, don't you dare laugh at this I'm serious!" All she could here was his loud guffawing, and it slowly pulled out her giggles especially when he stopped to take a breath only to snort and continue laughing.

"Wow Olivia, this is so funny, and I'm not even laughing at you. I'm laughing at the fact that I had the exact same conversation with Karen about living with Mellie an hour ago. You literally sound like a seventeen year old girl." He went on laughing and Olivia huffed, but couldn't keep her cheeks from lifting into a smile.

"I'll have you know I feel like a seventeen year old, I don't need all this supervision. Help me Fitz, you're the president." She mock whined at him causing him to giggle more.

"I can't help you. Tell me again, what she does at OPA?" He was teasing her and she couldn't be happier. He was the only person who could tease her and at the same person validate her words and worth with every single action he took regarding her opinion.

"She orders people around. Last Monday, she told Quinn to take a seat, and ordered Marcus head gladiator for the day. She demands that Huck be the one to accompany her on her runs outside the office. She took him to a freaking BED BATH & BEYOND. They came back with **scented** candles to **cleanse** the heaviness in the air.! IN OPA." He dissolved into more laughter.

"Oh gosh stop Liv, I can't imagine this. Ow my sides hurt."

"You deserve it, Laughing at my pain like that." She huffed and he giggled. Fitz was a freaking giggler and it was one of the most adorable sounds she's ever heard.

"Aww poor sweet baby. Gosh I forget how funny you can be sometimes." She couldn't help the bright smile that sprung up at the compliment and the name. Her heart clenched at that name, it was so painful to hear yet felt so right in that moment. They lapsed into silence for a moment, before Fitz spoke up.

"Tell aunt Rain thank you Olivia, for me. She's doing what I wish I had enough sense to do for you seven months ago. What I wish I could do for you…right now. Tell her the president owes her a favor." Her heart broke at the emotion in his voice, it was gruff and raw and so different from what she had become used after she left him.  
"That's not a small feat. To gain a favor from a President who only has four months left in office." She made sure to tease him, she needed to walk him off the ledge he was pushing them towards. She didn't want to go there, not after their laugh.

"I would give out a million favors everyday if more people took care of you." He couldn't be coerced off the ledge it seemed, she had to yank him.

"Fitz, I can't…" He stopped her before she could continue.

"You called me Olivia, I'm here to listen, but it's a two way street. You give me, I take. I give you. You take. You are free to call me whenever, wherever. I will take you any way I can get you. I will listen, because I'm too old to change this love I have for you. I'm too old to stop wanting you. Even if I can't have you. You have me. That's my truth. I can't let you go, but I won't beg you to stay. If you want to use me, go ahead, I'll listen, but I'll say what I feel." His voice rose with emotions, she was stunned, she wanted to be angry, but her heart. The organ she thought had deserted her as she slogged through months of self deprecation, it pulsed. It pulsed with something she thought she had lost. Something that went missing, yet always remained. That thing stood at the forefront as it listened to Fitz. She felt her eyes water with each breath he took. Tears slowly slid down her cheeks, her gaze flittered across her office looking for something to distract her, to hold her and it landed on the small map. A key chain hanging from her lamp.

"What was your plan when you built the house in Vermont? You never told me, the details of it. How were we supposed to get there? It was never possible. We can't have Vermont. How did Mellie factor in? How did Karen and Teddy and Jerry." Her last words tapered off fading into the destitute pile of pain that seemed to surround and infiltrate their trails at being together. There was a long pause. Neither of them spoke. Olivia in fear of what her words may have triggered, and surprise at her honest need to know the answer of the question.

"After all these years you still don't get it? Do you?" He sounded disappointed and she blinked rapidly not knowing how to react, briefly glancing at the screen of her phone in confusion.

"Olivia it was never about the plan. I didn't have a plan. I had you and the dreams we'd dreamt together. I had your voice in my memory, describing to me the things the made you happy. The times that were difficult for you, the love that we both missed growing up. I had memories of your laugh that I placed into every brick of that house. I had that and I had the need to prove to you that you were worth everything. You held everything. I never had a plan Livvie, I just had my love for you. The rest that was always up to you."

He took a breath and she could sense that he was rubbing his neck trying to relieve some tension.

"The rest is always up to you. I have to get back to the kids." She nodded her head not registering that he couldn't see her. He had dumped so much on her. No matter that she knew this about him, she felt it in the way he loved her and made love to her. She knew it from the power he gave her, the changes he made for her. The pain he dealt with from her.

"Olivia, I have to go." He sounded as exhausted as she felt now.

"Okay."

"Bye."

"Goodnight." She slowly peeled the phone from her ear, it was hot. The heat mirrored her emotions, she felt fire. In the pit of her stomach, in her gut, in her heart and mind and most definitely in her soul. She had talked to him for thirty minutes and he'd lit her on fire, with just his words. She'd been looking for her fire for months, for years. Since Jerry died it had ebbed away, to embers and slowly ash.

She'd chased so much revenge and power and lust in the search for this fire. The one he seemed to control now. For the force that made her wear the White Hat and sit around a table on an air plane agreeing to sell her soul for a man.

The same man who had completely derailed the conversation with his words. She still had no idea why Huck was the one to uncover all the dirt. She needed to find out and with her renewed fire she most definitely would.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

"Mr President. Operation Blanket has been launched." Fitz sighed and turned back to the view behind his desk.

"Thank you Abby, I don't know should we be celebrating or sulking."

"Uh…I don't know sir." Fitz couldn't help but frown at her words.

"I personally think this deserves a good sulk. I'm the leader of the free world until we fix this issue." His shoulders seemed to slump impossibly lower, as if he weren't carrying the literal weight of the world on his shoulders already.

"Fitz, I think it depends on how you want to see it." He turned and looked at with raised brows, "I can't imagine this situation being any better, but please enlighten me."

"Well Mr President, I think you have a one in a life time opportunity, scratch that you have been given like fifteen of those. Your life has been a pile of stuff that should have buried you with it, but yet here you stand. You are the President, in about five months, when another person should be taken office, you will remain the President. You will continue to make decisions to benefit this country, but this time Congress, the parties, interest groups don't get a say in your decisions. They with this document in my hands handed you all power to rule this nation as you see fit. You are no longer just commander in chief sir, you are king. Next to God, no one can stand in your way. That's one in a life time. You can do whatever you want."

She took a deep breath after her speech and stepped closer to his desk, his fingers were steepled together, his head bowed, "I don't know if that helps you sir, but you told me to pull myself out with a line. I just gave you one and I'm going to need you to grab onto to it and pull yourself out, because if you don't a lot of people are going to die."

Fitz finally lifted his head and looked past his hands to Abby, her back straight and hair pulled back from her face, her eyes despite her words were glassy, a complete contradiction to he message he was being fed.

"I never asked for this Abby. I never dreamed of this, but you are right. I'm doing it my way though."

She smiled and placed the black file on his desk, he made quick work of signing away his life, the last swirl of the pen on the paper he released a chuckle.

"Some men were meant to be great." He dropped the pen and stared at the printed letters, eight years of pain for this. "Well I guess I'll be the greatest."

"You know I would love to have you with me at this dinner Aunt Rain, but I can't do that, it's sensitive topics." Olivia gave herself another glance in her vanity before moving to grab her strapped pumps by the bed. Aunt Rain wasn't being difficult for no reason, she had an invitation to this dinner. It was in Liv's clutch, but she wouldn't be going within a ten miles of the event for one reason.

Fitz had decided to attend, he had been slated to be out of the state but after shuffling around his schedule he could make it. In all honesty he needed to be there, even though he knew all the candidates a little too personally, it was for the press. He would be 'accepting' the contenders for the Oval into the race.

"Well I didn't get dressed in this fancy get up for nothing." He thoughts snapped to the older woman who was standing in the door way. She looked beautiful, locs pinned up with pearls and a flowery silk gown that dropped over her frame. She looked barely forty five which was no shock at all, if not for the gray hair she would have passed for younger.

"I'm sorry I forgot to call, but Aunt Rain…" She was cut off when she felt Rains fingers on her shoulder.

"Olive, I won't embarrass you. I know he's going to be there, I also know you talk to him more than a woman should talk to her ex. I won't touch whatever it is you have going on, it helps you sleep at night, but I need to meet him. Also as an American I demand to have access to the future leaders of this country. You can't stop me." Her dark gaze met Rain's and all she could do was smile and sigh at the determination there.

"For the record, I only call him for work and it's happened three times in two months." Rain raised her brow, and chuckled before kissing Olivia's cheek.

"I'm just teasing, let's go, I need to find a man tonight." The eye roll could not be stopped even if Liv tried,

"You are crazy, you have Mike."

"Oh Olive Mike's just the pregame show." She couldn't help but laugh as she took a final glance at her appearance. She had on a back lacy sleeveless sun top bodice A-line dress that fit like a glove at the top a flowed gently to her feet clad in black pumps with gold assents. She looked beautiful, her hair was what tied the look together, the short and styled in a bob that brushed her chin in the front and barely touched her neck in the back. He shade was dark red an her eyes were smokey with wings, the lack of jewelry besides her gold bangles tied it all together.

"You look so beautiful, I think this will be a good night. We need it."

They weren't late but they were one of the last ones to enter the huge hall, the presidential motorcade had arrived almost the same time as them so the entire line was held up. Upon entrance Olivia quickly directed them to the table that was already completely occupied, Mellie and Jake along with Vanessa next to him, the donors to their cause were also seated causing Olivia to slip into work mode once introductions to Rain had been made.

The donors were particularly difficult to secure, and she had told Mellie and Jake before coming to remain completely focused on securing their funds.

"Olivia, you look completely stunning." Her gaze cut to Jake across the table from her and she smiled tightly in response, this was the first time she'd seen him since their last strategy after announcing his place as VP candidate.

"Thank you, you look good as well, marriage life agrees with you, Vanessa it's so good to see you. You look great. " Olivia smile brightly at the blonde woman who seemed completely enraptured with Jake.

"Thank you Liv, I'm sure it's the lighting in here, we'll talk later I have some exciting news to share." Liv nodded and tuned back in to the conversation Mellie was having with one of the donors wives about her time in the White House. Rain jumped in occasionally with questions and much like Olivia helped to steer the conversation steadily.

"I just told Olivia yesterday when we spoke how quickly the entire campaign has gone by I mean we have less than two months till the general elections, that's bizarre. We've worked so hard, such good people on our team to help us and I hope it pays off, because I want to continue this good work that we've been doing." Mollies words hit on most of the selling points they'd discussed at OPA last night, but it was boarding a little bit on uncertainty so Olivia opened her mouth to steer the conversation towards the platforms she'd been championing in the senate, but was interrupted when all the guys stood at the table. She turned to her look over Aunt Rain's shoulders and found Fitz. He was dressed sharply in an armani charcoal tux, she couldn't help but assess his beauty. The grey hair on the sides of his hair slicked back but the top left just unruly enough to remind her of the thickness that lay there. He had his left hand in his pocket and was using the right to shake hands with all the men who had stood to greet him. She watched him work his Grant charm laughing at comments being tossed at him, she snapped out of her trance when Aunt Rain nudged her.

She looked over at her aunt who was smirking at her and quickly moved to observe Mellie who was now the object of Fitz's attention, while he still catered to the other people at the table.

"Fitz, it's good to see you look well," Mellie stood and hugged him briefly with one arm, they'd discussed this interaction briefly over the phone so she didn't know how it'd go. She'd made it a point to not tell Mellie had to act around Fitz in this campaign.

"I'm glad you say that, you look good too. Campaigning looks good on you."

"Well you and I know how it is so let's just leave it at that." Olivia watched as his smile tightened around his eyes and he moved and kissed Mellie on the cheek briefly before turning to address Jake and Vanessa. He was plainly colder with Jake and quickly moved on, leaving Olivia and Rain.

"Olivia." He said with a smile, almost surprised even though she knew he'd seen her already.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

"Mr President, it's good to see you. I'm glad you could make it." She stood and shook the hand he held out to her. She could feel almost every eye in the room on them and it scared her. They're hands touched briefly, with all the attractive forces that accompanied every meeting of their bodies. She quickly pulled her hand back and motioned to Rain.

"This is my Aunt Rain Elbih. She's visiting with me for a while." She said the last part with a pointed gaze that caused him to chuckle, but he surprised everyone when he ignored Rain's hand and pulled her into a hug.

He spoke so quietly that only Olivia could hear what was exchanged in the short hug.

"Thank you so much. I'm so grateful. I owe you." Three statements that stunned Olivia, it's one thing to hear him say it but it's completely another for him to go against convention in a room filled with dignitaries and acknowledge the widowed aunt of his ex girlfriend.

Olivia was so stunned she barely caught on to Rain's response which was even more startling.

"You can repay me by explaining yourself." Rain said as they pulled away from each other.

Fitz smiled a sincere smile and nodded his head.

"Of course, I'd be more than happy, it's so great to finally meet you." After that they both acted like nothing happened because it all happened within the space of a minute. Fitz made small talk with the rest of the table, gain a laugh and moved on, not before flashing a smile at Olivia.

"He's a charmer." Rain said leaning closer to Olivia, who was struggle not to watch him swagger away.

"You have no idea the half of it." She quickly turned to the topic at hand at the table and did her job, taking notes on the donors concerns and Mellie's reactions, she read the room, things were optimistic. She could win this election with this group of supporters, but she knew Mellie wouldn't be President.

The calls she and Fitz had been making were about the way the election would proceed, and Olivia being the figure she is was in charge of making sure all the candidates understood their place. She had to keep the charade going. She had become in the space of two weeks Fitz's hand in orchestrating the dynamics of power that would be in the White House come election night. Besides being his eyes on the outside, Huck had essentially been his filter of information to the President, if you had to give him a position that fit the job he was doing, it'd be special advisor. He had scrapped most of the information the CIA had gathered and showed them how they were being led like pigs to the slaughter.

"I thought it'd be a great idea to start a committee on how best to change the situation of reproductive rights. I think it'd be invaluable, to know from the experts where we are going wrong. I mean can you imagine how many women would suffer if access to affordable, quality abortions were taken away."

The topic at the table snapped Olivia out of her thoughts, she turned to the wife of their donor who was speaking passionately. She looked over at Mellie and everyone else at the table who seemed to equally as invested in the topic at hand. She'd advice against this particular topic so many times, but Mellie never listened.

"I can't imagine anyone giving up something so precious as a baby. I understand why'd they'd do it but I just can't imagine it. I would never do that, not know that that baby was half of me." Olivia couldn't help but flinch when Vanessa spoke those words, they hit home, but what dragged her even deeper into that pit was when she placed her hand over her belly. It was subtle but Olivia's gaze caught on.

"Sometimes, whether or not the baby is half of you isn't the problem. Being able to provide, protect and love a child in a way that is right is the problem." Aunt Rain's voice was strong and soft but the undercurrent was haunting, she knew what she was talking about.

"I think this is a topic that's a little too heavy for dinner discussion", the oldest man at the table spoke up and Olivia was glad.

The rest of the night flew by once Fitz departed and Olivia barely had energy left to deal with Mellie so it was a good thing it did. She and Aunt Rain left immediately after Mellie and somehow managed to end up in the guest room in PJs listening to old jazz tunes.

"My favorite song to listen to even though it's not of this era is Zion by Lauryn Hill. I heard it many years after it came out but still it's fantastic. Have you heard it?" Aunt Rains voice broke through Olivia's thoughts about the dinner.

"I'm not sure I know it well, but if it's Lauryn I'm sure I've heard it." Olivia tried to go back to her thoughts that she was scribbling in her notebook.

"I'm sure you have. I'm not sure you know this but I had a son. His name was Zion. I had him when I was really young. I was sixteen, in the hood and pregnant, nothing special really. I was terrified that entire pregnancy, my mother started this thing where she told me horrible birth stories. I was so scare of having that baby, when I finally went into labor I refused to push, but not even fifteen minutes later he was there. Easy as eating pie." Rain shifted into a sitting position and reached over unto the bedside table to pull out a framed picture. It was black and white, a chubby bald baby held in dark arms.

"He was three months there." She sighed and placed the picture up. "He would have been 44 this year. He died when he was two. I started seeing this guy I met in trade school, a teacher. He like me I liked him so I would go out with him when my mom had Zion. I loved him, completely adored Dane. I got pregnant again. This time I was 18 and a year away from completing school. I was doing great things in the community. The shame that waited at my door when anyone found out about that pregnancy was too much, not to mention Dane was the deacons son. I couldn't have that baby. I loved that baby though. I waited too long to have the procedure, but I did it. Dane was there with me every step of the way. he understood. I couldn't bring myself to look at him after I had that abortion though. I drove him away told him never to darken my doorstep again. I came down with a fever three days later, I was alone at home with Zion and I just felt horrible. I couldn't even keep my eyes open. When I came to I was in a hospital. I found out Zion had made his way out the front door at night, he walked right into the road, the driver never saw him sitting there, but when he found him he said he kept crying and saying Mama sick. He was so smart."

Olivia dropped her book and reached over to grab Rains shaking hands, she squeezed and scooted closer to her aunt.

"I lost two babies in a week. I was crazy after that. It took me years to get to who I am today. I heard this song ten years ago, I loved it because it was everything. I just she was singing about my baby. My sweet little boy who marched out for me." Rains tears racked her frame, Olivia slowly pulled her into a hug.

"I'm so grateful I had him. So much love for two years, that should have been enough reason to keep the baby. His love. his love." Rain went on to mumble into Olivia's shoulder the word love over and over again.

"I love you so much Olive, love you so much. You were so like him as a baby. I couldn't help but love you. You were my second chance at love, when I saw your mom struggling with you that day. I loved you so fast when I took you and held you."

Olivia couldn't stop the tears that rolled down her eyes, she was comforting Rain but somewhere in their hug the tables turned and Olivia was the one bawling her eyes out. She was sobbing and clutching to Rain who whispered gentle soothing words. Olivia calmed enough to shift to laying on her side and wrapping her arms around Rain.

"You keep all that hurt in." Rain ran her fingers through Olivia's hair. "You keep it all in, but take it from me, let it out, don't hold it in. I know you were dealt some sorry cards when it came to your parents. Those two people should never have been together. Don't let that stop you." They lapsed into silence with Olivia's sniffles and the music as a back drop for what felt like ages.

"I still love him." Olivia whispered around a sniffle.

"I still want a life with him. Why do I still want a life with him? He's hurt me. I've hurt him, why does it not go away, the love that shifts to pain and back to love again as soon as he looks at me. Speaks to me, touches me. Why?"

Rain stopped rubbing Liv's shoulders and rolled her over so she was look at her in the eye.

"I think it's time for you to stop asking why? You do it all the time because you are curious. You've always been curious, but don't be curious about love. Just love. Go ahead and take the pain away. Take the love."

"It hurts so many people though." She said looking at her aunt with tear filled eyes.

"Does it hurt you when he loves you? No one else has anything to do with your relationship. The same way no one had anything to do with my relationship with Dane. When you start letting other people have a say in your relationship, thats when it starts to fall apart." Olivia nodded her head listening intently to what he aunt was saying.

"He's almost out of office, I'm not gonna be here to distract you for ever, you need to face all your demons. Don't hide from any of them. Don't ignore them. Please Olivia, stop self medicating. I know you do it. I know you don't sleep. Face those demons baby. I'm here to help you. That's why I'm here. I failed once but not again."

The silence and music floated around the both of them, it was a cocoon of acceptance. One generation to another, refusing to give in to the mistakes, but accepting the faults and weakness. Olivia couldn't stop herself from sharing if she wanted to, from her years at boarding school, to college, to Fitz and Jerry, finally to Andrew and Jake. She spilled her life's pain into her aunts lap, it was in tears, in sweat and in sobs. She confided and broke down the Olivia Pope stereotype. She was herself, raw and in pain.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

"I have to say John, this is quite the phenomenon, we've had an entire year to prepare this election has been coming, we've seen what these candidates have to offer, but I'm a little disturbed at how fast the time went by. I mean we are thirteen days away from the general elections."

"I know exactly what you are talking about, but I'd like for us to focus on what today is, or at least what we're about to notice. A lot of people have been commenting on the Presidents supposed lack of interest in the on goings of the elections, especially in the Republican realm."

"I mean it's completely understandable, the man knows all the people running personally. He shared a bed with Senator Grant for over twenty years, then publicy divorced her for his ex mistress, now ex girlfriend Olivia Pope who just so happen to be running his wife's campaign. If I were the guy I wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole." The screen panned to an unoccupied stage where the President would soon be taking the stage. The numbers on the screen counting down to the last two minutes. The reporters voice continued to play on loop from the TV behind him while Fitz watched from the wings the on goings in the crowd.

"Mr President you are on in a minute." The voice of the stage manager prodded him, "Yes thank you." He looked down at the bottle of water in his hand and took a final swig in preparation for the show he was about to put on.

He'd somehow managed to endorse Mellie half heartedly through out the entire process, his voice providing soundbites for reporters lauding the potential greatness in office. Her qualification, she knew the white house, she'd live there and understood how Washington worked. If only.

"Okay sir you may walk on now." Fitz looked back at his secret service men and handed one of them his bottle of water. He didn't bother learning their names anymore not after Tom. He brushed the thoughts of his son's death aside and turned on the charm as he stepped onto the stage.

The crowd was on its feet with cheers and screams moving through the room like blankets, flowing over his skin so that it raised the hairs on his neck. The lights and camera flashes causing him to break out with sweat, as his heart picked up. He had made his choice, according to his advisors he was backing the wrong horse but this was a horse he needed to take down.

"The President of the United States of America. I have two more months until I am no longer holder of that title. As citizens we have two more weeks until we have to approach the bench and cast our vote. This is an incredible time to be alive in our country. We are on the cusp of achieving something incredibly beneficial for this nation. I hope and pray you all will join me in voting for the party and candidate whose interest are that of the people.I believe that person is Mellie Grant. Now I could stand here and laud Mellie's character and achievements, some of which I witness first hand but instead I will share with you a story.

My oldest son Jerry was born with a heart defect, except we didn't know he had it until six months later. I had been traveling so much I was barely home for longer than three days." He paused and took a minute to look around the room as the memories flooded his senses.

"I got a call from my best friend urging me to get home as quickly as possible and I jumped on a plain and flew in to California. When I got there my entire family was camped out in the waiting room. They'd gotten a call from Mellie's assistant that Jerry was being rushed to the emergency room." Fitz could feel the tears brimming his eyes remembering his little boy in those early days of his life. He took a breath to compose himself before continuing, the auditorium was deathly quiet.

"No a single one of them had seen Mellie, we called everyone we knew and none of them had seen Mellie, I was worried and upset, where could she be when our baby was hospitalized. Three hours later the doctors came into the waiting room to inform us the surgery had been successful." He chuckled and looked out into the audience, he caught a few people's rapt expressions, before heading back into the speech.

"All I wanted was to go to my baby and hold him, but the doctor looked around and told me something that would forever characterize Mellie 'Your wife is phenomenal, I may have performed the surgery but she saved Jerry's life.' Where was Mellie the entire time I was pacing in the waiting room. She was in the OR, holding Jerry steady in her arms because, they needed him awake for the surgery but he was a baby so he needed his mama. For six hours Mellie sat on an operation table with a six month old and kept him calm while he had his chest cut open." He took a pause and the auditorium filled with the sound of applause. He lifted his left hand to stop the applause and smirked at the crowd.

"You think that's pretty brave and awesome but that isn't even the most amazing part. Jerry wasn't even alive when the ambulance got to our house, but Mellie wouldn't let him go, she wouldn't stop CPR, she wouldn't quit it, she kept the pressure on his heart until it resuscitated." The applause was even greater than before so Fitz waited it out because he applauds Mellie every day for preserving Jerry's life, it gave him the memories he has now to hold on to.

"She's a phenomenal woman, she is incredibly brave, strong and when she's absolutely driven and passionate about a cause she will never let it die. I know that first hand. I also know electing her will show you guys first hand. Please join me in welcoming to the stage the republican parties candidate for President and hopefully our president for the next four years. Millie Grant."

The same crowd that gave thunderous applause for his entrance did the same as they welcomed his ex wife to the stage. He stepped back and embraced her with a kiss on the cheek,

"Thank you so much Fitz." Her sincerity showed in the tears in her eyes and he recognized those tears because that memory and this stage didn't fail to bring up the day they lost their son.

"Thank you Mellie, you gave me more time with him." He felt a tear escape and she pulled him back into a hug before letting him go with a final look.

He waved once more to the crowd and quickly exited the stage, Mellie's speech ringing in his ears as she began.

He didn't feel good, the emotions, the memories, everything was working against him, the dull pain in his chest had started to spasm into bigger pulses. He stopped as soon as he cleared the wires leading onto the stage and pressed his palm against his heart.

"Mr President, sir are you okay?" His secret service agents quickly surrounded his and began to lead his out of the view of the people milling around back stage who had stopped to observe his pause.

"I need a room." His voice sounded off to his own ears as the pulses of pain kept coming. He focused his attention on breathing through the pains not caring where he was being led. It helped when he continued to take deep breaths, more oxygen to his longs and his blood.

He was so focused he didn't notice until he was pushed into a chair and his coat was being ripped off him that his doctors had arrived. The blood pressure cuff went on and the next thing he knew he was being injected.

"Sir we are going to need you to stay here for a while, the medication should take effect soon. How much pain are you in sir on a scale of one to ten." He looked at the young african man who this year had become a permanent fixture in his life always a few feet away .

"I'd say about seven Michael, it started when I telling the story about Jerry." He knew the drill, reveal everything from the beginning to end, describe the pain as best you can and pin point when it started, if you can why.

"Okay Mr President, I think it's best if you stay here for another couple hours I don't want to move you until I'm sure the medicine has taken effect." Fitz nodded and rested his head on the back of the couch he had been planted in.

"What ever you says best Michael." The commotion began to die down as agents escorted the other medical personals out of the room, leaving behind three agents Michael and the President.

The room was quiet until five minutes later another agent stepped in,

"Mr President, we have Ms Pope requesting access." Fitz opened his eyes and looked down at the blood pressure machine that was still monitoring him and sighed. Olivia wouldn't back down he knew, "Granted." He said before shutting his eyes again. He heard the shuffle of feet leaving the room with a click of the door. Not even five minutes later the door reopening and the quick sure sounds of Olivia's heals before they stopped short. He blinked his eyes open to take in her appearance, she was dressed in tan slacks that fit her perfectly and a short sleeved black blouse tucked into her pants, she had on the silver necklace he was convinced was her favorite yet she denied. Her hair was bone straight down her back with little and minimal make up.

"Fitz…" Her voice was grave as she looked at him, she was struck he knew, he could see the fear surface in her dark eyes along with tears.

"Hi, I'm okay, just a little emotional." He smiled at her, but quickly lost it to one particularly painful pulse.

"Fitz…" She took two steps to him when he lost his smile and quickly closed the distance when he shut his eyes with a deep breath. He felt her kneel in the space between his legs, her fingers wrapping themselves around the hand he had pressed to his chest.

"I'll be okay, Liv." He opened his eyes and looked down at their hands before looking at her.

"What's wrong with you?" Fitz couldn't help but smile, she seemed almost childlike, the look of fear in her dark eyes reminding him of Teddy's when he found his dad in a similar position. The question almost identical.

"My heart is just a little too old for all this excitement." That's the excuse he gave Teddy, he knew by Liv's death glare that it wouldn't work on her.

"I have what I like to call, failing heart syndrome. It's a painful pain in the ass." He couldn't describe the expression on her face as heartbroken or disbelief, more like shaken. He'd knocked her off her axis and he watched her eyes move quickly around to take in everything about him as her finger squeezed tighter on his hand, panic was setting in.

"Olivia, I'm fine, I'm right here with you." He wiggled his hand underneath hers and shuffled in his seat so his thighs were pressed against her side.

"When were you diagnosed?" She asked locking her fingers securely around his.

"A few months ago, what I thought was heart burn wasn't." He wanted to yank the blood pressure cuff off his arm so he could wrap his arms around her and comfort her.

He was learning that having a terminal illness or problem, especially at his age and in his position require him to give the comfort.

He'd managed to hide from Olivia his problem these past month they had been working together, but he knew she suspected something, which is why she came in here today.

Two weeks ago he had had to cut a meeting short to take his medication and had left to do so. He remembered her eyes tracking him until he left the Oval. That had happened on multiple occasions since that day and for some reason his meetings with Olivia and Huck were always the ones Michael interrupted.

"Can it be fixed?" He couldn't stop himself from laughing at her question and the exasperated look on her face told him he was walking a line.

"That is such an Olivia Pope question, but yes it can be, but no I can't fix it. I have to keep being President. The curative period after the surgery is six months, I don't have six months to lay in bed." He pulled up on the finger indicating for her to get off the floor, and she complied takin a seat next to him but leaving their fingers intertwined. They sat in silence, Olivia's mind working to wrap around his confessions and Fitz reveling in the closeness of their bodies. The warmth of he soft palm, the press of her fingers to the back of his hands, the scent of her body and hair after what he knew was a long day, offered a comfort allowing him to lay his head back and close his eyes.

"How long are you stuck here for?" She knew what protocol was for Fitz and illness that his doctor treated.

"About two hours." He responded. He blinked his eyes open when he felt her bend over she peeled off her heels and kicked them away from the couch before sitting with her feet tucked underneath her.

"You want some company." She asked looking over her shoulder at him, with a playfully hopeful expression. He rolled his eyes at her "Of course." She sighed and leaned back in the chair with her head resting on the back of the couch much like his, but their faces turned towards each other.

"You gotta work though Liv." He didn't want to hold her back knowing this was a crucial part of Mellie's campaign.

"We have this in the bag, I can afford to sit with my sick friend." He closed his eyes again and listened to their steady breaths before asking her the question that had been burning in his brain. "Is that what I am? A friend."

He felt her finger touch his brow before running across it to ease the lines of tension she found there.

"I'm not defining you anymore. You're Fitz." Her whispered words rang through the small dressing room.

"And you're Livvie." He confirmed opening his eyes to the gorgeous woman, who for some reason, he couldn't find the will, nor did he want the will to stop loving.

"Yep I'm Livvie." She said before ducking her head down to rest on his shoulder.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

"Liv I have the coordinates for the final location, it appears that Rowan is running all transactions through the private island off of Zanzibar. He has the signals scrambled, it's completely new, I've never seen anything like this, I can't possibly break into it. I have no idea where it came from but who ever created this is too good to not be from the military."

Huck had struggled up until this point to decipher the rest of the plans of Rowan, they changed everyday, information stopped flowing through the server he used the second day after he figured out where to look. The CIA took a page from his book and started checking on all abandoned military operations sites, but with no luck. The third location was discovered simply by luck and it wasn't even a real place. It was part of a virtual world, a role play game that supported murders, just watching the clips from bits within that game was disturbing.

"Okay so we have all four locations that are being used to work this. Can we shut it down?" She knew her question was a silly one because if they could, they would have already.

"That shouldn't even be a question Liv. It's not that easy, Rowan not only has us pinned against the wall but he has chosen our weapons. He's allowing us to see what could potentially happen. He wants us to plan for the fallout, but I don't think we know what is really going on here. The things we are seeing are too different, well volatile to serve any purpose. He served to protect the republic for all these years, why would he suddenly want to destroy the people who make this country what it is?" Olivia sighed and rolled her chair away from the desk in frustration, the fixer in her reaching her breaking point on this case. She wasn't equipped to solve this. They wouldn't solve this without more help. Huck and the CIA were great but not enough.

"We need to get the media involved in this." Huck gave her a skeptical look, almost questioning her sanity.

"Don't look at me like that, we're out of options, we have made no contact with Stephen, Rowan is AWOL and Jake under your methods and the highest wave of polygraph testing admits to having no idea what is going on. Our best offense is defense, keeping the Oval secure thats as far as we've planned. Everyone governmental security agency is working on this but without the knowledge of what this actually don't know what this is."

She was pacing around the small space behind her desk, stopping to throw her points at him. "Inciting the people at least gives them some warning of what's to come, if at all it will come." Huck continued to watch her with a steady gaze before shaking his head.

"It has a potential to help if more people are looking for activity but I think that's exactly what Rowan needs for the next step whatever it is. He's toyed with us, led us on a goose chase, inciting chaos only covers his moves." Olivia huffed and approached the pictures stuck to the glass of her office wall, there were only six photos, Rowan, the picture of the two physical locations that were all under Russian jurisdiction underground and the images found when accessed via the black sites and channels. She took a deep breath and looked over her shoulder at Huck before turning back to the pictures her mind spinning so much her head throbbed painfully.

"I don't know what to do." She finally said after looking at all the different ways to play the situation. "I think we should stick to the plan." Huck walked closer so she could see him in her periphery, before he spoke again. "I think you should go home, you've been here for two days. I'll keep an eye on things. Aunt Rain called me." His last words caused her to roll her eyes.

"Okay, I understand no need to say more. Have Quinn and Marcus call me and brief me on the Stuart case. I don't think Rain will let me out tomorrow." She walked back to her desk and picked up her jacket and purse before gathering all the files she'd been stewing over for the election and exiting.

The drive to her apartment was quick with the agents now assigned to her tailing her, she didn't think it was necessary but everyone, mostly Fitz insisted. She was now a National Security expert, well consultant, because her father had plans to dismantle the republic. As soon as she turned the locks, she braced herself for her Aunts questioning and prodding but they never came, instead her voice called out from in the bathroom, "Olive your foods in the microwave and I need you to drink all the tea I set to brew. I heard it really works and since you are home at a reasonable hour you might actually sleep tonight." Olivia sighed and dropped her load before doing as she was told.

The quest for healthy Olivia, that's what she had begun calling it in her head, this was week two, home remedies, meditation, anything to get Olivia to sleep, with out nightmares, a few of them worked, the remedies especially, but when the nightmares eventually came there was a trapped aspect to them, they worked so well she had to live out her nightmares to the end. Gooseflesh rose on her arm as she thought about a particularly gruesome one involving Mellie and Jake. The food tasted bland to her overly tired taste buds, and the tea was worse than it smelt.

"So, how was your day?" Aunt Rain came into the room in her house coat with a clay mask on her face, causing Olivia to smile around the ring of her mug. "It was good, I'm sorry I didn't come home." She'd come to the decision that Rain was best handled upfront. "It's okay you work, I know it's been hard, the remedies and not being successful, I get it you needed a break."

Sometimes it surprised Olivia how open minded her Aunt was, the understanding she was afforded, excuses weren't met with chastisement. Rain had literally no expectation of her besides she make an effort to get better, which was easily done in the environment she'd turned the apartment into. It was hard keep going and she'd slipped into old habits three nights ago, taking her pills. But there was no disappointment in Rains eyes, which made her feel even worse, causing her to flee for a few days.

"I enjoyed my lunch with Fitzgerald today." Olivia almost spat her tea out, "What? Fitz, my Fitz." "Yeah, and he's not just your Fitz, he's the president, so he called me up on Wednesday and asked me to lunch today, I couldn't say no, he's so charming." Olivia was scared to ask and anxious to know but her aunts profile gave nothing away, in fact the smirk on her face revealed just how much she enjoyed jostling Olivia's perfect facade.

"What did you talk about?" She finally asked. "Oh just life stuff you know, he mentioned you a couple times, but he's incredibly generous, I didn't know he was that involved in the plight of the homeless in DC." Rain sat next to Olivia with a mug of hot chocolate, slowly sipping her drink. "He gave me some good pointers about getting around DC, although I think I'm getting better, I'll try some of the spots he recommended, but it was a nice get to know you session. The real question I wanted to ask the entire time was why HE wanted to get to know me, is there something I should know about you too. Specifically if it involves you being in a relationship with him."

"No we are not in a relationship, dating wise, we've become closer since we started working on our latest project." Olivia's tone sounded weirdly nervous to her own ears. "How much closer can you get to that man? What are you really trying to tell me." Olivia sighed and looked at her aunt before smiling, they were so much closer since they'd shared each other pain.

"I'm saying we are getting closer, he needs a friend right now, I want to be there for him, so I'm being his person." Aunt Rain broke out into a huge smile,

"His person, you are so cute, I mean you used to be such a stick in the mud when it came to boys and cooties, now look at you, boy crazy." Olivia couldn't help the blush that fired her cheek, something that Rain had taken to doing was reminding Liv of her childhood. She had shipped a box from California with albums from their summers together, she was piecing together memories that she'd long since forgotten. She'd had a happy childhood, she could see the joy on her face in the pictures of her sitting on the laps of the women she loved, swimming with them and dancing together. Zainab one of the trio of her mother's friend had had an affinity for black and white photography and Olivia was subject of most of those images. "Aunt Rain." She chastised while moving to rinse her mug and place it in the dishwasher.

"What it's true! You hated boys as a kid, couldn't stand them, punched a kid at the playground for looking at you too long, we all watched you do it. Then you made up this elaborate story to cover up your mess, still got a timeout though." Rain was giggling in her seat. "Well, I'm going to get ready for bed before this thing kicks in. It smelt strong. I don't want to keel over on the floor."

She walked out of the room away from her Aunts laughter, the fact that Rain had met with Fitz today terrified her. Knowing Rain she could have told him any number of things about Olivia. She decided not to dwell on Rain and Fitz, instead turning her attention to the fact of falling asleep being the hardest thing. She knew one of two things were possible tonight. She either fell into a deep fog of a sleep that held her down so much that when the nightmares came she had no choice but to stay in it. Or she restlessly rolled around in bed after waking up from a half sleep where she remains lucid dreaming. Either way she'd be exhausted in the morning.

Once her bed time routine was completed after discussing part of her day with Aunt Rain she slid into bed picking up her discarded book to read. She didn't remember falling asleep but the fear in her dream when it inevitably woke her up immediately induced nausea which just as quickly led to tremors and vomiting right over the side of her bed. When she finally stopped retching all she could do was lay back on her pillow and sob silently.

She stayed there until the sun finally peaked through the window, tear stained pillow, red dry eyes and vomit splattered shirt, not to mention the actual vomit on the floor. He door cracked open around five am, Rain as usual peeking in on her, but instead of moving along to complete her yoga like usual she gasped and flicked on the lights causing Olivia to wince and turn her face into her pillow.

"Olivia," She heard Rain walk around the bed and cluck at what she assumed at the sight of the vomit before sitting at the foot of the bed. She grabbed a slim foot that was handing out of the blankets and just held onto it. "Olivia." "I don't want to talk about it." She mumbled propping her body up gently and pulling her foot from Rain's grasp. "Okay."

There was a period where Liv sat up and just stared at the situation of her floor with a all the pain from the nightmare flashing across her face before she scooted off the other side of the bed and went to clean up. Rain sighed and decided to aid in the process of cleaning. They revolved around each other silently as Olivia cleaned herself and the floor while Rain stripped her bedding and took it to the wash. "I have a meeting with Fitz later tonight." Olivia said around a bite of dry toast, that got stuck in her throat and needed the ginger tea to push it down.

"Just remember to be home by one." Olivia looked at her Aunt and the memory of the night she had fresh on her brain was three seconds away from venting and ranting, but instead she simply nodded. She was trying to be better to do better and listen and heal, she couldn't take it out on Rain. "Okay." She went back to her toast, rinsed out her cup when she was done, kissed Rain's cheek and left for work.

She pushed her nightmare to the back on her mind where it could occasionally pinch her but not dominate her space all day. She got to the office quickly and had to focus on the cases they had as OPA, there were three of them. A school suing a rich family for a fundraiser they hosted that led to the death of three students from drug overdose. The school was pinned in the media as the problem when in reality the deaths happened on the families property. Their second case was a simple case of will resettlements, all parties wanted to be appeased without dirty laundry being aired. The last one was a recurrent one the same client who couldn't seem to understand that people were out to get him so he continually put him self in the position to be exploited. This was the fifth OPA was bailing him out, but he paid, and they all had bills so no one said a thing. She also had campaign finalization plans for Mellie, volunteer parting gifts and such since the election was a week away. Olivia should have been on the trail, scrambling like everyone for last minute votes, but she knew at this point it was useless because the President had already been picked.

This was not an election of the people as they were putting it out to be, it was all backstage this time.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

"What's your treatment for today?" Fitz almost let out a frustrated growl when he heard Olivia's question. This is what torture felt like, she had become seemingly overnight a heart health specialist. Their two hour meeting that was supposed to be focused on the plans for the president elect post elections had been derailed as soon as the briefing was done. Instead he was now being questioned about his health, he got it enough from Michael and Abby, he didn't need it from Liv too.

Initially it had excited him that she cared enough to learn about his condition, but he should have known. Olivia Pope wasn't a half asser, she'd go all the way in and wouldn't come out until there was a feasible solution, one that worked. One that fixed him.

"I took my meds at three this afternoon, I'm due for another six hours, now can we get back on topic?" He knew he was talking to a brick wall when she kept pacing around the seal only acknowledging him with a hum.

"Okay, so that means it's starting to work its way out of your system right about now, are you in any pain. I read that it helps to rest when you are in pain between doses. I think we've covered enough ground tonight, lets just…" Her voice trailed off and she turned to look at him leaning back in his chair.

"Let's just…" He prodded, but quickly stood when he saw a flash of desperation in her eyes.

"Okay Olivia, come on sit down." There was another flash of resistance but it quickly crumbled. He ushered her to the couches and gently pushed her into the cushions squatting before her so they eyes were level. He broke their stare to quickly unbuckle the clasp of her pumps so she could relax further.

"Water?" He asked her once he'd succeeded in removing both of her shoes.

"No."

"Sleep?" He asked with his brows raised in understanding. He ran his palms down her calves and squeezed her ankle.

"Yes." She dropped her head into her palms and rubbed furiously at her eyes.

"Well we have an hour until you have curfew, why don't we try and nap." She lifted her head as he stood and sat at the end of the couch motioning for her to lay down.

"Thank you." Once she was settled he went about answering her first question.

"It wasn't horrible today, but I'm not looking forward to tonight. I mean it's lasting for longer periods of time but it really hurts when it's administered."

"Can they freeze it like I suggested?" She asked curling in on her side.

"Yeah but that doesn't really feel good either." He ran his fingers over the bridge of her nose as they fell into contemplative silence disrupted by Olivia's restlessness. Fitz looked down at her eyes shifting constantly in thought and knew she would not be shutting her eyes to sleep.

"Okay, change of plans." He lifted her head gently and slid from underneath her watching the confused expression on her face.

"I'm going to call Rain and ask her to give you leave of your curfew, you won't nap for an hour no matter how comfortable I am."

"Fitz…I..Okay." She couldn't argue so he reached for the phone and made a call to Aunt Rain it was brief interspersed with a couple laughs and promises to be safe.

"Yay you are free, let's go." He helped her off the couch and picked up her heels before motioning her towards the door leading to the residence. Their walk was quiet but also stacked full of insecure emotions. No matter how close they had gotten, there was still so much between Olivia and Fitz that was problematic. The fact that she was now dependent on him most days for an hour of sleep because he provided her a safe place to fall asleep was problematic. She had talked to Rain about it and that was partly why her curfew was implemented. It wasn't to prevent her from working, it was to stop the symbiotic nature of her relationship with Fitz in its track. Olivia wasn't the only with that problem and once Abby got whiff of Fitz requesting to either talk to Olivia or even see Olivia after his sessions she read him an act that made him blush shamefully in Olivia's presence. Their last bout together didn't end well and it took nearly a year to fix public opinion on Fitz's presidency. Abby wasn't willing to risk his legacy and neither was Olivia, so they were compromising no one saw her come in or out of the white house she used the tunnels and her time with him was limited to meetings in the Oval. They were breaking a lot of ground rules.

"Okay here we are," Fitz said after shutting the bedroom door and dropping Olivia's pumps next to the couch. There was a period of awkward silence where Olivia stood with her arms folded gazing around the room.

"Here we are." She finally responding giving him a wane smile.

He shook his head at her without a word walking toward the master bath, the sound of the shower turning on broke the silence and Fitz's voice followed.

"Liv go grab a T-shirt and some shorts to sleep in, I'll be out in ten then you can shower." She couldn't help but laugh at his blasé way of handling her. He had been very hands off since his talk with Abby a couple days ago.

"Okay then." She walked to the closet and automatically went to the drawers that held his soft cotton boxers and folded T-shirts. She picked out a dark blue shirt with the words commander in chief painted across the chest. Unconsciously she walk towards what was briefly her side of the closet in search of a comb to put her hair up with. She was startled by the emptiness of the space quickly shifting back to Fitz's side for his brush.

"Liv, I'm done." He was standing in the doorway body covered with a fluffy robe and feet tucked into fuzzy slippers, he looked ridiculous especially with how his hair was falling it to his face.

"You look absurd" She teased finishing the second french braid in her hair.

"Yah really you keep talking. I'm comfortable and I'm ready for the night. Go shower." He quipped flippantly over his shoulders as he twirled and left.

She didn't even glance at him as she walked into the bathroom, all she heard was the TV going on sports center.

By the time she got out of the shower she was comfortable and relaxed but very quickly regained her concerns that had lingered at the beginning of her shower. Why were they doing this? She could be in her own bed right now, battling with sleep and night terrors. Finding her own remedies to her problems.

She could be, she should be, but with Fitz she didn't have to battle, she could just sleep easy.

"I ordered you camomile, Rain said you needed it." He was sitting up now in a grey T-shirt and pajama pants and his reading glasses aiding his vision.

"Thank you." She walked towards the tray that held her drink and downed it like a shot.

"Woah, you know you are supposed to savor it right?"

"Well I have come to severely dislike the taste of tea so I chug back when Aunt Rain isn't look." She sassily responded while crawling into the bed, her eyebrows wiggled with mischief he couldn't help but smile at this side of Olivia that rarely came out. It was just as beautiful as her other personas.

He slid down his pillow and turned of the lamp that was illuminating the room. Her eyes were shinning in the dark as she pressed her body as close to his as possible, his arms wrapped around her and squeezed until she released all her anxious energy with a deep exhale.

"You need to close your eyes now." He whispered softly, his breath fanned her forehead and her legs squeezed the thigh they held captive as she burrowed further into him, nose pressed against his chin.

"I don't want to." She responded running her nose down to his neck where she peppered his steady pulse with small kisses as it began to speed up.

"Livvie," His voice had already dropped an octave, as he warned her.

"Hmmm." She responded before taking his skin between her lips and tugging with a gentle suction.

"Olivia Pope, you need to shut your eyes before we do something that gets us both in trouble." She giggled and ran her fingers down his chest feeling his muscles along with the goosebumps rising on his skin.

"I think we're the only two people in here and no one has to know." She wanted him in a bad way and she knew he felt the same way. They had a million other problems, but sex and desire weren't part of them. Her desire for Fitz was as easy as breathing because when he had her body, he made it feel like all the energy universe had their birthplace there.

He chuckled softly and grabbed her hand moving it back to his face where he kissed her wrist before softly pushing her off him and rolling onto his side facing her. She knew what was coming so she quickly pressed her lips to his, silencing his questions with a hard slow kiss that finally sparked the flame from a low burn to an explosion of emotions and tension, that left their skin feeling tight and hot. Olivia couldn't help the sounds she made when he gripped her hips and pressed her to him while rolling over so she could straddle him. She was desperate, out of her mind with desperation, the fact that they had been separated for months flew out the window, with their lips and hands exploring the world and its problems flew away. All her energy was focus on the heat of his body and how it had settled low in her belly, all she cared for was having him fan it, so when stopped for confirmation she gave it wholeheartedly.

"We're doing this?" He asked when their lips disconnected briefly.

"Yes, please." She begged rotating her hips to the feel of him.

"Are you sure you can handle this tonight?" He said staring at the vision of her beautiful face in the clutch of passion.

"Do your worst." She groaned out with a particular sensuous twirl of her hips spiking her pleasure. She couldn't hold her self up anymore so she dropped her upper body her mouth meeting his as they continued the reconnection that hopefully this time would be the last of its kind.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

The phone was ringing, it had been ringing for a while, Fitz was dead asleep beneath her. After their last round last night she had him caged with her body, limbs completely intertwined.

She squinted lifting her face from where it was buried next to his ears. The comforter lifted with her movements allowing light from the window to come into their cocoon. Fitz started to mumble his displeasure, she looked down at his pouting lips as her arms lifted her higher and couldn't help but smile, he looked adorable. His hair askew and eyes squeezed shut as he resisted awakening. She sat up slowly her weight now resting on his lower chest causing him to grunt and roll so she fell off him. He pulled the covers she had around her back down to his chest and burrowed deeper into the bed.

"No Fitz you have to answer." She said tugging it back from him.

"You answer," He whined.

She sighed looking at the curls at the back of his head before leading in to press a kiss to his ear. She scooted off the bed and rushed to the bathroom to relieve the pressure on her bladder and freshen up, briefly glancing at the clock to note that they had only gotten three hours of sleep and not consistently.

"Fitz you need to pick up or you know Abby will come in here." She walked back in the room and she could tell by his head sticking out of the covers that he was dead asleep.

She pulled his robe off the couch and slid it on before sitting at the foot of the bed with her phone. After checking her messages and making sure everything was running smoothly at OPA and with Mellie's campaign, she responded to Aunt Rains morning greetings and put her phone down. Fitz had about ten minutes before his door would be be banged on because he had ignored all his wake up calls. She crawled over the lump of his body and pulled the duvet off his face.

"Fitz." She whispered his name softly he face twitched in irritation and she smiled before going on.

"Fitz it's your sweet baby, it's 6:50 and this is your wake up call. Come on open your eyes." She ran her fingers over his brow and down the bridge of his nose, in a circuit watching his features transform as he drew himself from sleep. He exhaled a deep breath while opening his eyes.

"There you are. Hi." She slid off his back and laid next to him so he could see her.

"Hi." He rasped back.

"So I have to go, before…" She didn't get to finish because he was kissing her.

"Mmmhmm, stay." He said after breaking the kiss.

"Fitz…" Her reproach was on her tongue but he halted it.

"Just for my session." He wasn't begging, she could tell he didn't really need her there, this was purely want. She couldn't deny him, she didn't want to leave. She just never had consistency with him. This is what he had talked about last night in between sleep and sex, he wanted consistency. He didn't want on and off and compromising time and again with her. He wanted all or nothing. Spend the night, spend the morning.

"Okay." They stayed cuddled until the knock came and Fitz had to extract himself and answer the door.

She heard Abby's voice from the doorway but didn't turn to face them, she knew she was visible.

"Mr President, you missed all your wake up calls, but we are still on schedule for the day, you have your session in half an hour…"

"Abby, I don't need a full briefing right now, let me get ready then we can talk." Abby huffed and by the slapping sound shut her binder.

"Okay. Well I'll meet you in the living room." He said dismissively grinning at her scowl.

"Sure. Good morning Olivia!" She shouted, and Olivia could imagine the exact look of annoyance on Abby's face so she responded in kind.

"Hello Abigail." There was a brief silence before Abby's heels clicked away and Fitz shut the door.

"Are you two going to fight over me?" His teasing caused Olivia to turn towards him as he walked towards the closet.

"Of course not." She was quiet afterwards the truth was she and Abby had been in fights over her relationship with Fitz. When her mind started to drift to the unending list of people who would be affected by her relationship with Fitz she chose to just observe him, be in the moment. His routine was different than when she lived here. He used to bounce ideas off her but he was completely silent. His movements deliberate as if he was completely focused on ignoring her presence. She couldn't help but notice the switch some aspects of his routine. After his shower he didn't do his hair first, he dressed in his dress pants and undershirt then he did his hair. He wasn't using mousse either, instead he had put gel mixed with some oil concoction. She was much faster getting dressed since she didn't have to do any make up. She took out her braids, that left a slight curl to her hair and ran her fingers through hoping to detangle it and stop the frizzing. Her priming in front the floor length mirror stopped when Fitz came out the bathroom and handed her a wide toothed comb, before laying a small toiletry bag on the table next to her.

"You left some make up here." He avoided her gaze and tried to turn but she raised her hand to his shoulder and dragged it down his arms to his fingers where his warm fingers wrapped around hers with a comforting pressure.

She looked down at their hands to gather her thoughts, she had stayed awake longer and had stewed over her desires and his desires. He wanted consistency, she wanted him to know without a doubt that she valued everything he did. She took him for granted, but the mere fact that she feels rested after being in his presence for less than 12 hours is a testament to how important he is to her and she didn't want him to forget.

"I'm not sure what I did to deserve the dedication you give to me, but thank you."

Fitz wasn't the first ex lover who had tried to get Olivia back. For most of them it was because their egos were involved.

She thought the same could be said for Fitz, but a conversation they had after their very public first date, had been playing in her mind and she was finally starting to understand what was meant.

She had come back to the white house fuming, had started ranting and listing out to him a million reasons why that was an idiotic move. He had silently sat on the bed and watched her, long minutes of her talking to him, at him and finally yelling for a reaction from his cold exterior. She had slammed him with a slew of comments they were way below the belt and off-base.

 _"I'm not your little prize, I don't need an owner to stand up to the world and claim me. I'm not a thing you can play with to stick it to your old boys club. I have a reputation." He had swung her around with such a force that her anger had stuttered but even with his deadly pained gaze she pushed._

 _"Fitzgerald. Let me go."He took a deep breath and removed most of pressure on her arm._

 _"I will not take that from you. Ever. Olivia I will never be subject or participate in those ideas you have. I will tell you this one thing. The truth, the only thing that drove me to that door is a promise. The single promise I have kept since the day you let me love you. I will bleed the earth dry, I will sacrifice every life, I will hurt any one. I will be your bulletproof vest. I will love you. But most of I will never let what we have compromise your integrity without fighting for it. You don't need an owner, you don't need me. I've learned that but I am at your mercy either way."_

He had been angry enough to leave her alone that night

Today he stood gazing at her with a wariness to his frame, an unwillingness. He was bracing she knew, because she was bracing. She couldn't help it, this was her nature when she was scared, and nothing scared her more than Fitz, but she reassured them both by stepping into his body and pressing her face to where his heart was thudding steady, always steady, never letting his fingers go. They stood pressed together fingers entwined.

"I'm as dedicated to you, as in love with you and just as terrified as you are right now. This is our last chance." She whispered pulling away from him. He pressed his lips to her brow softly before he let her go. He understood everything she said, knew it in his heart, so he didn't address it. He turned back to his routine. They moved about in silence, only breaking when he handed her his tie, she tied it with there gaze meeting constantly releasing burst of butterflies in her abdomen. She could believe they were trying again. So she focused on walking with him to his session. As they walked out of the bedroom side by side, uncertainty and fear were apparent, but need was there to, desire was present and the love was much deeper than it had ever been.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

The election came and went, to the most of the country it was a grandiose affair, the election of America's first female president; T shirts were being worn in celebration. However for the president elect and her vice president the celebration ended with a call from the current President requesting their presence in the Oval a mere hour after the election results had been called.

Mellie's acceptance speech which had been slated to be fifteen minutes long was cut to eight, not even an hour later a helicopter carrying her, Jake and Olivia was landing on the south lawn of the Whitehouse in the dark of DC's celebratory night.

The reception wasn't a ceremonious one, in fact they were not led to the oval, the halls of the white house leading up to the West Wing were deserted. Their entrance to the situation room was met with no congratulations, solely grimly serious faces.

"I'm glad you could make it. Let's begin." A sliver of fear went through Mellie, especially when Olivia left her side and situated herself among the fray around the table, with a stoic look in place.

"What's going on?" Jake finally asked once they'd been seated.

"We're here to discuss your transition into the white house. This is not the usual protocol, I believe it is safe to say protocol has been changed all together. The country is at stake, we are currently under the tightest military protection, the threat we face is one we do not know. It is however a threat to every person on this planet. You did not win the presidency tonight, you were approved to become the symbolic president of the United States." The words of the National Security Advisor, caused Mellie's eyes to widen, she opened her mouth to speak but was stopped by the head of the CIA.

"We ask that you refrain from speaking until the meeting is adjourn there is much to get through. Your questions shall be addressed later."

The emotions that crossed Mellie's face over the next hour told of a woman on the verge of a breakdown, yet she held it together. Olivia silently observed her as she listened as she was basically told all she was needed for was to stand in place and smile.

Olivia knew Mellie would not be getting any classified information in this meeting, it was discussed and she was found to volatile. Fitz point blank told her Mellie would do as she was told, she didn't need to know.

Jake on the other hand knew a little bit about what was going on, or at least he was piecing it together since he was questioned in the initial phase of the investigations. He remained attentive, never once displaying any thought or emotion.

Olivia couldn't stop he gaze from drifting to Fitz, he was leaned back at the head of the table, attentive, as if he hadn't been breathing and eating the facts of this situation. His features were relaxed, his eyes calculating, she could tell he was reaching beyond what was being presented on paper.

The trail had ran cold, Rowan had stopped dropping hints after Huck got too close to deciphering the language used in communicating between all the sites. They'd managed to infiltrated the site in the Congo, but all the victims had already been dead. Their bodies were all tested but all the test had come clean, nothing wrong on the cellular level. They found small fragments of rubidium in the eustachian tube of their ear. The was speculation on the use of the Rubidium but no one was certain as of yet.

The worst part about all this was that there was no clock counting down, it was all a waiting game, hoping someone messes up, but even that seemed highly improbable.

The closing of the meeting saw that Mellie and Jake sign all their political and personal freedoms away to the Republic under Fitz's command.

As everyone shuffled out of the Situation Room Olivia's gaze met the stare of the beady eyed man she'd come to know as Moses, he was the previous head of intelligence at B613, he was an expert in Rowan. Olivia lifted her gaze from his because according to her gut something was amiss. Olivia crossed the threshold and was stopped by the sight of Mellie blocking Fitz's path. Olivia knew it was in her best interest to stay out of the situation but from where she stood Mellie looked pissed, betrayed and defeated.

"Mellie the chopper is waiting to take you home." Her voice turned Fitz around allowing her to see his gratitude and exhaustion. She smiled at him before Mellie's growl of anger as drew her back from her worries that now seemed to surround Fitz.

"We have to be back in time for the celebratory brunch." She sounded in control but in reality her stomach was cramping in apprehension. She and Fitz had discussed Mellie's role in theory it sounded simple, now faced with the heat of Mellie's anger she wanted to pivot and spend the rest of her night far away from anything to do with the situation.

She braced her self with a huge breath for argument, but Mellie turned and marched down the hallway with her SSA trailing her.

"Livvy." Fitz stepped towards her, but she shook her head raising her palm to stop him.

"I'll call you tomorrow, go rest I'll be fine." She ran her hand behind her neck trying to relieve some of the tension but it was useless, with a final sigh she walked after Mellie.

The ride back to Virginia so tense Olivia feigned sleep, hoping to gain some reprieve, but she knew Mellie's gaze didn't drift off her form for more than a minute. They landed and were shuttled back to Mellie's residence, she couldn't pull the sleep thing again so instead she met Mellie's gaze head on and with the exception of Jake's random insertions about their schedule tomorrow, both women kept their gazes locked.

"Meet me in my room after you wrap up with the team." Mellie's voice was soft and signified the end of the ride.

"Okay." Olivia hopped out of the limo as soon as the driver opened the door and walked into the house. Her team was waiting for her, with the exception of Huck who hadn't been on the campaign the last few weeks.

"Thanks for waiting guys. I wanted to say thank you and to ask you to please clear the list of names I gave you for approved cabinet picks. Those are the only names that will be presented as options. Also prep the press release for tomorrow, remember we are gracious and above the fray of any claims that will come out of the democratic camp." She looked at Marcus and Quinn both of them exhausted beyond belief, she felt guilty but in this stage of the game any new person could be a huge risk.

"I'm really grateful for the two of you and I know I don't show it but thank you."

"Over a cliff right?" Quinn said as she exchanged a smile with Marcus before collecting their files and shuffling out of the living room to get on with their instructions.

Her next stop was Mellie but she would need a little boost before she braved the steps. She pour herself two fingers of scotch that warmed her belly and calmed some of her emotion.

She wasn't scared of Mellie, quite the opposite, she'd controlled so much of Mellie's life these last few months that she didn't have much care for Mellie's tantrums. This wasn't just a hissy fit or weightless demands, she knew Mellie's fears and the thought of being ornamental drove her to act irrationally to preserve her integrity.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

The room was full of shadows, Olivia's mind briefly flashed to one of her recurring nightmares and her entire body tensed, but she was drawn back to the present with Mellie's voice.

"You are the worst kind of human being." The chair was in one of the darkest color of the room, but Olivia could hear the tears in her voice and smell the hooch that undoubtedly was half gone.

"Mellie…" Olivia began rolling her eyes to the ceiling, she was not in the mood to be insulted. The warmth from the scotch had disappeared and in it's place a cold wet sensation had settled over Olivia.

"You do not get to say anything, I was so stupid to believe you were working with me. This must have been your plan all along the great Olivia Pope convincing me to run for president only for me to be ornamental. To hell with the both of you and your grand plan."

The venomous sting that had been missing from Mellie's words at Olivia the last few months had returned with vengeance. It's hard to believe just two nights ago they had laughed together over a southern dinner cooked by Mellie to celebrate their lead in the pre election polls.

"Is this some kind of vendetta for Fitz, we rigged his election so he rigged mine, why can't he just let me have something. One thing, I wanted this victory and he just had to take it from me." Mellie's eyes and words were scathing.

"I gave him everything, I gave him the throne he sits on to command me, and this is how he repays me, with the help of his whore he buries my dream." Olivia heard the gulps of more hooch being consumed.

"Mellie we have a lot of events tomorrow so I suggest you stop drinking…" She tried to ease her way past the venom. Her head was starting to hurt like always when Mellie talked like this, but this time there were sharp pains at the base of her neck. She Mellie to stop talking.

"Shut the fuck up!" The scream was painful, it hurt ever cell in Olivia's body, her head exploded with pain especially. She barely had time to recover before she sensed more the glass jar barreling towards her head. She moved her body so it missed her head smashing against the wall instead.

The poisonous liquid had splashed her face and it stung her eyes now causing it to water. More pain, she was stunned, but unsurprised. The volume of Mellie's rant got higher and Olivia's heart started to race, she understood the insults being flung and each one was like a a knife being driven into her skin. She was seeing red, and the silent voices she managed to drive away with her work and Fitz rose to a shout. Her father's words, her mothers, Jake's, Fitz's every angry word that had been spoken to her seemed to be coming out of Mellie's mouth and as they all melded together to torment Olivia a smaller voice flitter through her mind, end it.

She could never describe how laser sharp her senses became once those two words were spoken, she could smell, see and taste every thing, especially the blood in her mouth. She had no idea where it came from all she knew was she advanced on Mellie and in the scuffle that ensued her fingers wrapped around Mellie's neck feeling her rapid pulse. The more pressure she applied the slower Mellie's veins pulsed. It kept slowing until her body was yanked back, the room suddenly flooded with light, and crowded with Secret Service Agents. She was clutched in Marcus's arms shaking, his large hands holding on to her fingers.

Her whole body seemed to be vibrating, the voices were no longer screaming but they were there still, she felt her body being moved, and then a familiar scent rose around her, surrounding her with comfort.

"I got you baby girl. I know. I know. It's okay. I got you." She heard herself saying over and over, "I just wanted quiet." There was a pinch in her arm after which the world seemed to quiet until it went dark.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen**

I didn't make it to the celebratory brunch the next morning, after I'd been sedated, I was choppered back to DC where Fitz and Aunt Rain met me with a team of doctors. I hadn't left either of their sights since then. The truth is I didn't want to be left by them, not because I was scared but because of the comfort they brought with their presence.

"Livvie, what do you want for dinner? I'm calling down the chef, Rain should be here soon." I looked up from my perch on the banister of the Truman balcony to see Fitz' head leaning out the door. His curls were scattered about his head, the result of a four hour nap I'd coaxed him into after another disappointing meeting in the Situation Room with more bad news than good news.

"I don't know what was approved today?" I motioned for him to come join me with my head but he refused citing the frigid temperature that maintained the exquisite snow capped view of DC.

"It's a cheat day, you can have anything." He wiggled his brows that were now speckled with grey hairs and smile brightly. His smile was genuine but behind the appearance of happiness I knew was a lot of concern and fear.

"Can we just get dessert? Cake, ice cream and candy." I pushed off the railing and wrapped the soft wool blanket tighter around my shoulders as I walked towards him. Fitz stepped out of the doorway allowing me to walk into the warmth of the small living room.

"I think that's doable but I will not be joining in that feast, it's your cheat day and I've indulged in a lot of sweetness today as it is." I couldn't help the flutters that passed through my stomach as I turned, only to find him right behind me. I dropped the throw unto the floor and wrapped my arms around his neck tugging him down to my height.

"Are you being fresh with me mister?" I whispered as our foreheads met gently. It was amazing how much he made me feel with the simplest actions and words. His hands were resting on my hips squeezing rhythmically as he pressed us tighter together. The heat of his body melded seamlessly with mine, drawing away the cold dread, and heavy guilt that occupied my chest in his absence.

"I love you." His voice was deep, soft, this was his new way of addressing me, no matter who was in the room whenever Fitz spoke to me his tone shifted, it softened. At first it irritated me because I knew it was because he watched my first meeting with the therapist where I admitted to not liking Mellie's tone. I spent a lot of time that session discussing the way the voices in my head spoke as Mellie screamed at me. The way the angry words felt sharp, loud and pointed.

The therapist urged Fitz and Aunt Rain to take heed of their tone with me, Fitz especially and he'd softened his voice, his mannerisms, almost everything about his actions in my presence had become softer. Even when he held me, where before there was a fierceness of our embraces and kisses and a edge of pain to our lovemaking, he'd softened all of it from his end and unless I verbally requested more he stayed soft. It was different but in a short few weeks I have come to love it and him more.

"I love you too." I pecked his lips and hugged him tight inhaling his warmth and musky scent that covered his cotton T-shirt.

"Okay you have to let me go so I can call the chef." I squeezed one more time before letting go of him. I moved to sit on one of the couches and turn on the TV while watching him inform the chef of our dinner preferences. I pushed his arms off my shoulders when he sat down next to me.

"Fitz behave. You need pants before Aunt Rain gets here. I already cleared evidence of our afternoon activities from the residence."

He looked down at his hairy thighs and stood up to do as I said. As I watched him go, my emotional thoughts took over.

This situation was blissful, with all the love, attention and care that Fitz and Aunt Rain provided, but it was awkward and difficult as well. The bubble I was being protected in did not extend past the bedroom and the balcony of the residence. Looking across the room to the doorway where a secret service agent was planted on watch. His job was to alway keep me in sight if and when Fitz or Aunt Rain where not physically in the room with me.

I had been brought into the White House sedated but once I woke up before I agreed to the therapist and an entire treatment plan for my PTSD, I had thrown around some deadly threats. Threats to Fitz and Aunt Rain, they were both very blasé about it, but when I'd said the words I knew I meant them no matter how hysterical.

"I will kill you. Let me out of this fucking room or I'll burn this house down with all of us in it." The threat was made worse by my brandishing of a small decorative candle. The secret service and the White House doctor had easily subdued me, but I had not been allowed to see Fitz or Aunt Rain for a day.

Their return came with the stipulation for constant surveillance. I had agents not just for my protection, but Fitz's as well, from me.

"Okay your dinner order is being prepared, we have thirty minutes."

"You can do some work you know, I'll be fine without your entertainment for a few minutes. I need to journal anyways." I stood and walked over to the bedroom to collect the blue book that Rain gave me weeks before the election, I didn't see the need for it until recently when everything I said and did was examined and I also had no where to be. The blue journal was off limits to everyone. I'd had Fitz made that abundantly clear by promising to gift it to him once I had filled all the pages.

He was smiling at me when I turned around with it in my hand.

"I could work, but I have a meeting in an hour and I would like to remain at peace for however long a time I am granted."

"Well then don't be a bother, I need to focus." I kissed his cheek as I walked by him back to my seat.

"Yes Ms Pope." He dropped down onto the couch next to me, but blessedly decided to keep his caressing fingers to himself.

We sat in silence as my pen scratched across the surface of the page, my entries so far ranged from my memories of my mom growing up to reflections on my relationship with Fitz and of course my emotions, so many freaking emotions ran through my life. I felt like a life wire and writing helped to sooth and take the edge off.

I looked up after putting the last period on a page and noticed Fitz was no longer in the room.

"Fitz." I called his name and immediately his head poked out of the closet where he was getting dressed. He raised his brows at me before holding up a tie.

"Can you?" I nodded and he walked over whilst lifting up his collar, I stood and made quick work of fixing his tie before patting his chest.

"When does the meeting end?" I asked looking at where his hands were holding mine on top of his heart.

"Huck is briefing us on his latest findings, depending on what they are and how quickly we have to react to them I might not be back until after you fall asleep." He tilted his head and brushed a kiss on my nose when I wrinkled it at the idea of me being asleep. I still couldn't sleep, with Fitz around I could manage four to five hours, with out him I watched the news or talked to Aunt Rain until he came to bed.

"I have reason to believe that after your dessert of cake, candy and ice cream you will be fully satisfied and take at least a nap." I smiled at his obvious teasing.

"I don't think that's how eating sugar works but I'll enjoy and you can stop stalling now and go to work." I pecked his lip and stepped away from him releasing the warm hold his hands had on mine.

"Okay Livvie. I'm gone, Rain should be here in fifteen minutes." She couldn't help but notice how he slipped in the time frame she had to be alone. It was subtle but very significant. Two weeks ago when they were first allowed to be with her after her outburst, they allowed her not a single second alone between either of their absence. She took the increase in alone time in stride, slightly proud but undoubtedly annoyed. She watched Fitz slip out of the room expecting her guard to come in to watch her but the door remain shut after his exit.

The silence was soothing but after five minutes looking around the bedroom from her perch on the couch she felt hungrier than ever and walked towards the door intent on getting to the kitchen where her food would be waiting.

She smiled at the spread of her new favorite items to indulge in, strawberry shortcake, gummy bears and a pint of pistachio ice cream all laid out in an setting fit for a king.

Olivia had never been a person with a sweet tooth her entire adult life, she could count before the last two weeks on one hand the amount of times she deliberately indulged in these kinds of decadent sweets. Yet here she was after a four days of a regimented balanced diet biting into sweetness that settled the craving she'd been carrying for the past two weeks.

She was leaning on the counting humming around a spoonful of ice-cream, when Rain saw her laughter burst from her lips because Olivia looked like she was in heaven. She was started out of her sugar induced trance but only smiled at Rain and continued to indulge.

"Hi Aunt Rain," She finally while cutting a slice of her cake and placing it on a plate.

"Hi Olive, is this how you're using your cheat day again?"

"Hey it's called a cheat day for a reason. I've been craving this pistachio ice-cream for a long time. I endured my diet now I require peace and quiet to enjoy my lovely meal."

There was a moment where Rain watched Olivia with a small smile on her face and Olivia couldn't help where blush before offering Rain a piece of cake to occupy her hands.

"I talked to Fitzgerald on his way to his meeting. He said you woke up from a nightmare and threw up again. Why didn't you tell me this morning when I came over."

This was the part of all the attention she had that Olivia absolutely hated, and she reminded herself constantly that the Fitz/Rain partnership was for her benefit. They were just looking out for her. She couldn't do anything to suppress the annoyed sigh that slipped out.

"I didn't feel like talking about it this morning. I really don't want to talk about it right now, let's just let it be." Olivia picked up her plate laden with ice cream, cake and gummy bears and walked out the kitchen intent on making it back to the bedroom.

"Okay we don't have to talk about it. But don't leave. We're taking a walk. Outside. You haven't been outside with the exception of the balcony. Finish your food and grab a coat."

"Aunt Rain, you know that's too risky, I can't be seen." Rain cut me off before I could finish.

"We cleared it Olivia, you're going for a walk." I got upset, no if ands or but about it. I placed my plate of food on the table in the hallway and trekked the rest of the way to the room before slamming the door behind me.  
I've been wanting to go outside don't get me wrong, I'm sick and tired of the being in this space, but like most things have been about my life, it was outside my control. Today I was pretty content, until now that is, and she just reminded me of how little control I had in this situation. I eat when I'm told, I sleep when I'm told, apparently I've just been given time on the yard.

With a resigned sigh I pulled on a coat and stepped back into the hallway knowing any fight I put up would be against myself.


End file.
